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AutonomyBoy

Autonomy Boy, you're so naive.

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Mixtapes for Hookers

Because who wants to listen to all that moaning?

• The Wattle Seed (11/16/08) [View | Hide]

  After spending all day lugging boxes around, my boyfriend’s cat is now stuffing his tuna-ridden face into my armpit with more reckless abandon than the kinkiest bear I’ve ever slept with.  I think it’s shower time, which I only mention that because his frantic thrusts up into my underarm are fucking up my typing, so I’m sorry if this post is totally typo-ridden. In other news, I just moments ago started drinking my first Baron’s Superior Black Wattle, which is an Australian wattle seed ale.  I’m not sure what a wattle seed is, but I bought it because I’d never seen it before and because the man on the label is wearing an attractive scarf.  See: [Photo courtesy of the Christian Beer Connaisseur, whose blog concept may be even more dual-purposed than Mixtapes For Hookers is.] The beer’s actually very delicious.  On the darker side, but also fizzyish.  I don’t know, I’m terrible at describing beer.  But thumbs up!  Definitely the best Australian brew I think I’ve ever had.  Which until now I think only included Foster’s.  Yay, Anything Besides Foster’s!  Anyway, I thought I’d try to explain the qualities of the beer and simultaneously kill some time by watching Australian Youtube videos, in the hopes of explaining to you the mysterious deliciousness of this brew.  Like, say, this one! I used to love that song!  And also Vanessa Amorosi, about whom I know nothing besides this one song that I vaguelly associate with my freshman year of college and the Napster craze.  Who knew that such a poppy song would have a video made in a booth at the mall for $4.50?  Not me! Actually, that song didn’t really date very well, did it?  It’s even mildly abrasive now, at least in terms of these laptop speakers.  Hmmm…  Well, here’s a different video, then: Hmmm… song’s still good but the video’s a little too Shiny Happy People, isn’t it?  Not at all like the manly wattle seed and the handsome devil with the black scarf.  And also I never knew Angie Hart had a lady-politician hairdo.  Uh, maybe let’s try a different one: Well, I do love that song, but it’s still not quite right…  The wattle seed does not make for a punky beer.  It’s more old mannish than that, while at the same time having a sort of general sophistication about it.  Er, what about this oldie but goodie? Nope, nope.  Catchy, but nope.  It doesn’t quite capture the mysterious allure of the wattle seed, whatever that is.  Oh, wait, I know!  I know just the song to explain to you how tasty this brew is: Tee-hee. I’d get down on my knees and do anything for you, wattle seed. Actually, I just watched the Pleasure and Pain video, too, because I secretly can’t get enough of Christina Amphlett and her scratchy voice and Peggy Bundy hair.  The video’s not that exciting, really, though you should definitelyt watch it just to see her crazy freakout between 1:50 and 2:00 or so.

• Future Clouds And Radar (11/16/08) [View | Hide]

  I’m having a completely ridiculous weekend, which has so far involved about six hours spent with overly clappy marriage equality people, first at a screening of Saving Marriage, a well-made (though sort of oddly paced) documentary about how same-sex marriage came to be legalized in Massachusetts. [NB: By clappy I mean they applauded at everything, even through the whole movie; I didn't mean everybody had the clap.] I didn’t even know it was happening, actually, because somehow I had gotten the details (and ticket price) of that event mixed up with an environmental fundraiser that involved the completion of a giant underground tunnel and The English Beat.  No, really.  But I ran into some friends who were going, so I tagged along. Like I said, it was good, although at times it dragged a little; I mean, I’m impressed by any movie that can make me care about individual state legislature races in other states, but at the same time the captions counting down until the final decision just drew attention to how slow the whole process is, but not in a good way for the audience.  Admittedly, though, I did miss about half the movie because the entire audience applauded anytime anybody said anything. After the movie I went to see a friend of a friend DJ, and then got dragged, only sorta-willingly, to the Eagle, where on Friday nights the butch contingent of Providence’s gay community gather together to hit on one another while TVs show hardcore porn and a DJ plays thumpy house remixes of Leona Lewis songs, even though there’s not even really a dance floor and for Christ’s sake it’s supposed to be the seedy bar come on people I mean really. Saturday involved getting up early for ultimately no reason, then heading over to the State House for Rhode Island’s version of Join The Impact, the national rally against Prop. 8 in California.  I took some pictures which I might upload later, but ultimately I’m very bad at going to rallies.  I got there late because I had to stop for coffee, I couldn’t really focus on what anybody was saying, and I started laughing when one speaker broke out in song.  Also, I always get distracted by people that bring cute dogs to events like that.  Here’s a picture (not by me) of the event.  I’m not in it, though I’m pretty sure Waldo is. That was the good part of the weekend; the bad part is that my garage is sort of flooded, which is bad because I keep hundreds of books there, and I only found out because I’m having a book sale this afternoon.  I don’t know where you are reading this, but last night in Rhode Island there was some kind of horrific wind and rain/humidity storm.  As a result, many of my favorite childhood books are now basically mush, including most of the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and Agatha Christie books I liked so much. I should actually be getting ready for the book sale now, but I thought I’d post about how much I like the new Future Clouds And Radar CD and also give my boyfriend’s cat some quality lap time.  Of course, I just spent over five hundred words talking about my weekend, so maybe I’ll skip the review and just tell you that I think it’s great.  I also like how FC&R debuted last year with a double-album, and how they followed it up with something that only has eight songs on it.  And they’re calling it an album, not an EP.  That’s kinda awesome.

• Say Hello, Wave Goodbye (11/13/08) [View | Hide]

  I’m not sure what’s going on, exactly, but another Pipette is down, this time before she even got a chance to record anything. To recap:  The group was founded four years ago by Monster Bobby and Julia, and the first lineup of girls was Julia, Becki and Rose.  Then Julia left to start the Indelicates and got replaced by Gwenno.  They put out an album, it was delightful, they got really popular, and got signed to Interscope.  Interscope, then, upped their video budget and continued to release singles from the album well after anyone cared.  Then Rose and Becki left at the same time, to be replaced by Anna and Gwenno’s sister Ari.  But now Anna’s gone, as well, right as they were about to record their second album. Gwenno posted a Myspace bulletin about it last night: Wednesday, November 12, 2008 Just wanted to say.. Current mood: tested …that I’m incredibly upset that Anna couldn’t see through recording and touring of the album. I’m shaking as I write this, it’s been a pretty tough year and I thought we’d got through the worst of it but unfortunately it hasn’t worked out that way. I haven’t actually slept for the past week so perhaps my emotions are running a little high and there was a moment when I questioned what it was exactly that I was doing but we’ve all talked extensively to each other about it and reached the conclusion that the songs that we’ve made together deserve to be put down on record. We’re starting the album in the next couple of weeks (which makes it even worse) with a fantastic producer (which I must keep under wraps for now) with songs that we are more proud of than we’ve ever felt before and so with this time of sadness comes excitement and the joy of potentially fulfilling exactly what we think The Pipettes should be. I don’t really have much more to say, I’m going to put my head down, along with everyone else and make The Pipettes work. It deserves it and we have all put far too much blood, sweat and tears into this to let ourselves and our fans down. I’d like to ask you to be considerate whilst we work through this, Thank you Gwen xxxx Currently listening : Say Hello Wave Goodbye By Soft Cell I have to say, though, that the group’s been consistently really talented.  Gwenno’s solo stuff is a lot of keyboardy pop fun, The Indelicates put out a some great singles (despite waiting almost two years to release the album, for God knows what reason) and I like the demos that Rose’s been posting on her Myspace.  So, who knows what’s going to happen to Anna.  (I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a picture of her, actually, so this might be interesting.

• Housekeeping (11/11/08) [View | Hide]

  So, posting will be slow in the near future.  I’ve got a few non-blog projects I’m working on, as well as two other blog-related things I’m doing on other corners of the internet.  They’re not related to mixtapes or hookers, although I’ll let you know when they’re done. To keep you occupied, though, I just updated my blogroll, getting rid off all the blogs that haven’t been updated in months or were permanently taken down.  In particular I’m going to miss Biomusicosophy, because its writer also had the best show listings in New England.  Until they (he?) moved to North Carolina, anyway. I also made my blogroll reflect my own RSS feed more; hopefully by doing that I’ll feel less obligated to tell you about every piece of news I get from $preas, Art Fag City or Bookslut.  (Sadly, the reason I only post things from there is because I tend to read my blogs in alphabetical order.  Which is why you never hear me mentioning anything that happened in the Wears The Trousers or the Wooster Collective blogs. Oh, and one last thing about Housekeeping:  I’m reading Marilynne Robinson’s book now, which I’ve been meaning to pick up since the nineties.  I think I hate it!  I’ll reserve judgment until I’m totally done, but the prose xxx="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/mixtapesforhookers.wordpress.com/712/">

• Search Terms (11/11/08) [View | Hide]

  People were actually looking for this blog for once!  And not just stumbling across it trying to get hookers in Cyprus or buy Alicia Keys’ earrings! Today: “mix tapes for hookers, muscle hunk, “ago viara”, handsome bald hunks, claudia galanti sex Yesterday: eli manning with shirt off, www.rentboy.com , hookers, www.hookers.com, mixtapes for hookers, myfavoritesongs. eartha kitt turkish, craigslist hookers, americans hookers, vince young cock

• The Pop Chart (11/9/08) [View | Hide]

  It’s on!

• Call Me Forgetful Jones (11/7/08) [View | Hide]

  That other album I couldn’t think of the other day is the debut record by Von Hayes.  It’s called Evident Eyelid and it’s the best thing a Guided By Voices fan could ever want in this millennium.  Twenty songs, the longest of which is 2:26, with poppy guitars and song titles like Karen Dreams In Hardcore and This Is My Gun City and Auspicious Falcon. They sound like they were recorded in one take in somebody’s parents’ rec room, and for all I know they probably were. Somehow, though, it doesn’t come across as totally derivative; it’s actually a lot of fun, and I’ve been listening to it more or less nonstop in my car, on the rare occasions in the last two weeks that I’ve actually had a car.  (I ran out of gas at one point, and shortly after I got gas my boyfriend borrowed it for a few days.  But that actually has no impact on how much fun it is driving around listening to this album.  Especially Ellen Degenerates and Mr Guts, which I may post here when I resolve my dumb posting inabilities.)  The band get their name from a baseball player I’ve never heard of, and they sound a little baseball-y; not in the sense that they dress poorly and listen to Dirty Water; more in the sense that I bet they drink a lot of bad beer, if that makes any sense. Anyway.  Highly recommended, even though I couldn’t remember it the other day. And speaking of my bad memory… Recently I posted a picture and said I didn’t know who the people in it were; it turns out it’s the couple that created the MonkeyRocker (the whimsical device in the picture), and that I sat across from them at dinner once.  Actually, after dinner we rode in a hummer limo to a strip club together; it was my first strip club experience, as well as my only (I’m guessing) Hummer limo experience; boy are those things stupid.  But the MonkeyRocker people were super-nice.

• On Dirty Calendars (11/6/08) [View | Hide]

  I got an e-mail the other day that the Rentboy 2009 Calendar is out now (and available through Amazon.)  I actually thought about buying it for a second, as though that’s something I need to be spending money on. Now that I don’t have a desk job, I don’t have a desk calendar, which means I never write anything down.  And when I don’t write things down I don’t remember them.  Dreams, parties, concerts, passwords for bank accounts, it doesn’t matter.  I just don’t remember it.  The Facebook event thing is pretty good, but only for people that have Facebook and use it to create event invites.  So a calendar in my house will probably be helpful. The Rentboy one, with photographs by Dick Mitchell, is okay, although most of the guys are a little too muscly for my liking.  Of course Diesel Washington, the star of my favorite porn scene of this year, would be a welcome addition to my April, and Ago Viara (May) and Gio (some other month) are both pretty hunky, but that’s about all.  Although I do appreciate their subtlety, what with only one flaccid full-frontal shot and two ass pictures, one of which is a sideview.  It’s much more tasteful than the Anabolic calendars I’ve gotten the last couple of years.  Every month is a close-up of a girl with cum on her face and at least one (usually more) dicks surrounding it.  Shaved balls, shaved pubes (if the picture ever shows an inch of the man’s body) and the girl usually looks a little dazed and not in a sexy way; it’s also aggravating because Anabolic takes girls I actually find really cute (like Dana DeArmond) and makes them look really, really unappealing.  But then, I guess I’m also not the target audience for that sort of thing.  Last year I had to take the thing down in March because I was so revolted; luckily, I was able to replace it with an adorable World Wildlife Fun calendar that shows families of polar bears and tree frogs and pandas. But much more interesting to me, in a way, is the 2009 New York City Sex Bloggers Calendar, featuring twelve ladies known more for their writing skill as for their ability to be photographed looked dazed and spooged-upon.  I’ve already seen the calendar and while I have my gripes about it–by which I mean, everything looks like it was photographed in the same smoky lounge except for one (July, I think?) where the background is totally different and the lady’s wearing a Wonder Woman costume.  Cute, but not conceptually the tightest.  And the box for every day on the calendar is filled with information about sponsors and holidays.  I understand why, but it also defeats the purpose, at least as far as pencilling in appointments goes. But I still like the pictures.  My favorite sex blogger, at least from the photographs, is Twanna A Hines from funkyblackchick.com.  She’s so frilly!  And the proceeds from the calendar go to Sex Work Awareness, which is obviously a worthy cause. Sadly, though, there doesn’t seem to be a boy sex blogger equivalent.  Although if anyone ever makes an Out Of Work Rentboy/Easily Distracted Sex Bloggers of Southern New England Calendar then I think I just might be your next Mr October.

• Sorry About The Lack of Posting (11/5/08) [View | Hide]

  Not such a good week here.  Except for the election, obviously, but even that left me with a somewhat morbid hangover today. Been listening to some good albums lately, though.  I really like the new Hotel Hotel, which is a moody instrumental thing about looking for a shipwreck.  It’s called The Sad Sea and it comes in pretty though vexing packaging. I’m also into the new Hundreds and Thousands EP, although I wish the vocals had been recorded differently.  The songs are messy and catchy; it reminds me of Boston a lot, although I’m not sure why.  (Boston the city, not Boston the band.  Heaven forbid I recommend anything to you that sounds like Boston the band.)  According to their Myspace they’re signed to Nettwerk now, which seems odd for a band with only 422 Myspace friends. There’s something else I’ve been liking too, although I’m not at home right now and I’m totally blanking on what that might be.  I still really like the new Tough Alliance; it’s their third album, but the first where the singer’s voice didn’t make me shiver with annoyance by the halfway mark.  It’s only eight songs, too, which I think helps.  But there’s something else that, at this very minute, is in my stereo at home.  More on that later, when I’m clear-headed and not blogging at my boyfriend’s house at midnight.

• Search Terms (11/2/08) [View | Hide]

  Today: hookers, jean valjean porn blog, hot hunk, jean val jean porn blog Yesterday: hookers fucking in parks on video, discreet charm of the bourgeoisie, big dick bedroom italian, cryptonic liqueur, duffy bond, soup dragons, april march gainsbourg Googling “big dick bedroom Italian”, sadly, does not return any pictures of me (ha!).  But you do get a study admitting there’s not much difference between height and penis size (which, sadly, does not seem true in my experience, as all the penises I’ve ever seen on guys my height have been markedly bigger than mine.) You also get some porn of the variety that seems to think “Italian” and “Latina” are interchangeable.  In case you for some reason think they’re the same, I thought I would pass along an e-mail that my mother forwarded me the other day.  It’s called “42 Things In The Life of an Italian-American Child,” and it contains lots of unappealing pictures of pasta.  I can relate to most of the 42 things, actually, though thankfully not #7.  And I don’t understand the phrasing of #26.  But anyway.  Full list after the jump: 01.  You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an  entire year after a funeral. 02.  Y ou spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was  pronounced ’sangwich.’ 03.  Your family dog understood Italian. 04.  Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your  grandparents and extended family. 05.  You’ve experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square  feet of yard during a family cookout 06.  You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven. 07.  You thought killing the pig each year and havi ng salami, capacollo,  pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was  absolutely normal. (Wow, that’s really Italian!) 08.  You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day. 09.  You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that  the price of everything was negotiable through haggling. 10.  You were as tall as your grandmother by the a g e of seven. 11.  You thought everyone’s last name ended in a vowel. 12.  You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles. 13.  Your mom’s main hobby is cleaning. 14.  You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores. 15.  You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce. 16.  You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter. 17.  You ate your salad after the main course. 18.  You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world. 19.  You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom. 20.  You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your  hand 21.  You can understand Italian but you can’t speak it. 22.  You have at least one relative who came over on the boat. 23.  All of your uncles fought in a World War. 24.  You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or  Louie. 25.  You have relatives who aren’t really your relatives. 26.  You have relatives you don’t speak to.  Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! 27.  You drank wine before you were a teenager. 28.  You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos.   I maka a meata ball you can’t refuse! . Forrgetttabbboutit!  Badda bing! 29.  You grew up in a house with a yard that didn’t have one patch of dirt  that didn’t have a flower or a vegetable growing out of  it. 30.  Your grandparent’s furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic.  Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic. 31.  You thought that talking loud was normal. 32.  You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all  weddings. 33.  You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in  their pockets by their relatives. 34.  Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter  what their age. 35.  There was a crucifix in every room of the house. 36.  Wakes would be held in someone’s living room. 37.  You couldn’t date a boy without getting approval from your father. (Oh,  and he had to be Italian) 38.  You called pasta ‘macaroni’. 39.  You dreaded taking out your lunch at school 40.  Going out for a cup of co ffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia’s house. 41  Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was  attributed to the fact that you didn’t eat something. 42  Those of you who get this . . . YOU  KNOW who to pass it on to!

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Comments

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voltage

Comment left on: 11/16/08 6:59 AM rhanx man! I'm glad to seee you again

Dj_Nikko

Comment left on: 11/11/08 12:48 PM

Dj_Nikko

Comment left on: 11/6/08 9:33 AM Hey Mr..

p0pstitute

Comment left on: 11/5/08 4:30 PM you are so hot

tracksfade

Comment left on: 10/30/08 11:48 PM hey buddy. how's providence treating you? i miss it up there.

Pezzhedzz

Comment left on: 10/21/08 3:42 PM how you durrin?

otheranimals

Comment left on: 10/17/08 1:01 PM oh hi. how are you?

pacjunior2

Comment left on: 10/17/08 10:41 AM thanks for the add, hotness. i luv, luv, luv breakfast at tiffany's, star wars, and young frankenstein! take care.

popicn

Comment left on: 10/2/08 3:46 PM Life is too short! Celebrate now! Have a great rest of the week and weekend!

matthewlp

Comment left on: 9/10/08 12:52 PM I clicked your picture off the hot profiles page thinking, er, the obvious, and realized we're already friends. I figured that's worth at least a hello.