I am Black, but to break it down, my ethnic background is African/Native American/Venezuelan. Therefore, the term "African-American" is a limiting misrepresentation. That statement may offend some, but this is who I am.
I may not look it, but I'm 37 years old. And usually guys younger than me get worn out by just watching me. Can you keep up? The only way to know for sure is to try. Start at my website,
http://tre-x.com,
http://myspace.com/trexavier
&
LASTLY, BUT IMPORTANT
If you only have 1 race of people on your friends list, DO NOT SEND ME A FRIEND REQUEST. You are on an American-based website.
So open your heart to at least friendship to every race
Or on my list, you will have no place.
Tre Xavier's view of things in this world. The new title represents his reptutation in his blogs to see beneath the surface,and share that discovery with you.
Lately, I've been to sex parties where I've topped for the entire night. This has put me in the position where I haven't bottomed for almost 3 weeks now. For someone looking to get double-penetrated, I don't believe that now is a good time for fate to slow down how often my hole opens up with a smile.
According to what happened to me at the sex party, Olympus last Friday, the title of this entry shows that to be what I seem to be becoming. It was definitely a case of "so many men, so little time". And also, so many willing to take in my dick. I will be honest of the many guys there, I fucked 4 times.
Fuck #1-A hot Latino whose ass was so inviting, I was the 2nd guy to fuck him in a tag-team session.
Fuck #2-was a muscular White American. We were trying to decide who between us was going to fuck this other young guy. So it was whoever got hard first, was going to get a chance. I got hard first, but (to my surprise) he was so tight, he couldn't take me. But the White American also wanted my dick, so he let me fuck him missionary, but since he claimed to not normally bottom, he wanted me to go slow. Now either he was new to bottoming, or he was able to pull off that lie, because he does Kegels as much as (if not more than) I do. Because his ass was so nice and tight, and I was shocked to enjoy fucking an ass in slow motion so much. Most guys I've tried fucking half that slow are so loose that they make me lose my hard-on. I didn't come with him either. I pullled out before I got that far, because my cock needed a break. In fact, while my cock needed a break, I was still craving to fuck. This led me to:
Fuck #3- I saw the Latino from Fuck #1 on his knees leaning on a sofa, worshiping a hot guy's bod. I saw that sweet round caramel ass there sticking out, and dived my cock in again. I wanted to shoot a load into that condom so bad, but a few people who need lessons in sex party etiquette rules that I've haven't gotten to writing down yet caused my load to withdraw. I later discovered this night wasn't the 1st time I ever fucked him. He reminded me that I had fucked him at a NY Jock Party once. I never forget a hot guy's face, so I knew I had seen him before, but some voyeur around me must have really annoyed me to make me forget that I explored this hottie's hole in the past. I won't let that happen again. That's why I'm writing this down now.
Fuck #4-My final fuck of the night was a slim European. I never learned exactly where he was from, but he was 2 of my favorite things...HOT & HORNY. One of the few heavier guys there fucked him while I was watching, and he saw me watching, and getting hard from the sight of his ass bouncing. So as soon as the heavier guy was done, Euro-hottie turned his ass to me so I could fuck him. With this sight I gladly prepped my cock, and dived in. I fucked him sometimes fast sometimes slow. Sometimes I slammed hard into his ass, and others, I got off on seeing my crotch slowly squeeze his ass cheeks as I put my cock deeper inside him. Would you believe as hot as this was, and as long as this went on, I still didn't come. But I went home satisfied to the point that I slept well. It was the next morning that I woke up with a raging hard-on that I needed to beat off.
I was a bit disappointed how no one made me want to bottom. There was a possibility my double-penetration was going to happen later that weekend, and I needed someone to prepare my hole for such an entry. That's why I was hoping this one guy I met at another sex party would show up, but he didn't. He would have definitely prepared me, because he has a big cock, and he fucks hard, like at least one of my DP candidates.
I did meet up with my DP candidates Halloween night. I worried a DP wouldn't happen, and it didn't. BUT instead I got one of the hottest tag-team sessions ever. While I sucked one's cock the other fucked me, then the other got his turn, and while I'm getting fucked missionary, the boyfriend who was fucking me before, was now fucking his boyfriend. Both of them came while fucking me, then I was fine leaving it at that, because I'm the kind of guy who can mentally get off by knowing that my ass got you off. It was part of the reason that my cumshots on Tyson Cane and Pitbull shoots took so long to happen. But these guys were determined to see me shoot a cumload, I was even offered one of their asses to fuck. However, while it pained me to turn down that invitation (if you saw his ass, you'd understand my pain), I was basking in how I was finally bottoming again. So to make me come, we made out, with me jerking off with one hand, while the other hand was massaging one boyfriend's ass, and simultaneously my face and tongue were buried in the ass of the other boyfriend. Between the feel of ass in my hand and against my face, as well as flashes of what the sex would look like as a porno all made me shoot my load. After all this, I washed up, went home, and with good reason, slept for hours.
So YES, I was Super Top for the last 3 weeks, especially last Friday night, but thanks to my DP candidates, I may not have redeemed my bottoming prowess by way of a double-penetration like I hoped for, but that hot tag-team on my ass was a fucking hot intro to what can happen in the near future. What is also good is the fact that I was beginning to feel like I was going to go through withdrawal from not bottoming for so long. After all, that's what I find to be the beauty of being versatile - the ability to avoid getting into a sexual rut.
Those of you who follow me on Twitter and/or are friends of mine on Facebook may recall seeing this Friday morning:
Falcon is SICK as the Jarics epitomize gay male narcissism that makes a guy couple with his look-alike. It makes the sex look incestuous.
This statement spawned from a passing thought on the racism within the American gay culture, especially here in NYC, of how interracial dating is now an oddity in the gay community, while becoming more common in the straight community. Also leading to that posting was how while I have nothing against the Jarics, I am just stating what is undeniable. Falcon Studios choosing to hire a real couple who look so much like each other (both facially and physically) adds to their list of errors because the Jarics can easily be seen as symbolic of that stereotypical gay male narcissism that makes one couple with someone who looks like himself. It's that same stereotypical narcissism that is making interracial dating happen less frequently in the gay community. Therefore, while both communities should have evolved the same way in regards to interracial dating, I am seeing the straight community progressing, but in the meantime the gay community is regressing.
This brings me to why for my next "Write That Down" quote, I decided to explain why so many guys I fool around with and/or date are not Black like myself, even though I see a many HOT Black men out there to choose from. It is as follows:
Everytime I take a shower, take a piss, beat my meat, or prepare to poke a hot guy's sweet mouth or ass, I see a hot Black cock. So I am probably more drawn to non-Black guys sexually because of the novelty. They have something I don't. A something that is not any more beautiful than what I have, but it is different. And I have more respect for gay men who love that difference, because it takes them one step further from playing into the stereotype of gay male narcissism. Hence why I also so greatly understand and respect a straight guys attraction to women. For they like I, are admirers of physical traits of the beautiful adult human form that are novelties since we can't see them on our own bodies. While narcissism is nurtured, this admiration (be you straight, gay, or bi) is natural and should be praised.
Fu Manchu's Weapon Of Evil (11/2/09) [View | Hide]
In various blog posts, I have mentioned being part of a "Fu Manchu" movie. Well, the movie is finally coming to fruition where you can see that I was not all talk, as the 9-part webisode movie, "FU MANCHU'S WEAPON OF EVIL" debuts on YouTube on November 9th.
Before involving myself with this project, I didn't know much about the character of "Fu Manchu". I heard the name, but knew no details about this character. So I went to a modern day reliable source, Wikipedia and found plenty.
To explain why my name is not listed as "Tré Xavier", when I signed on to do this, I was still considering to stay in porn, but planned on keeping the identities for porn and more mainstream entertainment separate. So for "Fu Manchu's Weapon Of Evil", I went back to my pre-porn stage name, LeNair Xavier Taprovo. Now you know where the initials L-X-T originate from in my self-stamped monicker, The L XTreme, which you may have noticed on my producing duties. Once I decided to retire from gay porn, I was going to keep using "LeNair Xavier Taprovo". However, under advisement from Christopher Jones of Jones Model Management, I decided to keep using "Tré Xavier". Christopher Jones reminded me that I've now made a brand with the name "Tré Xavier", and like they say, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". And I realized that he was right, because by way of this blog, I have taken the name "Tré Xavier" beyond porn without even trying.
In honor of the cast and crew, the director, Marc Briatack, made a blog post showing his appreciation for all of our hard work and dedication to this project. This is what he had to say about me:
What can I say about our main Dacoit (basically a ninja), LeNair Xavier Taprovo? LeNair is a friend, and since we had no budget on this film, I nervously tapped my friends to help out. He could have said "no." Instead, he showed up every day we needed a disguised servant of Fu Manchu to either attack someone or get "beaten up" or "disintegrated." He has no lines in the film, but provides us with a necessary presence through out most of it. The guy is aces, and a real professional talent that I hope to showcase in another production, and has my eternal gratitude!
I was quite flattered to read this, and glad to see someone take notice of how much of myself I put into a creative undertaking, even when it's not of my own creation. The same quality of putting so much of themselves into a project can be said for the cast members that I met. I would name names (as I've become known to do here), but in this case, there are cast members who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting, and I don't want to deny them the praise they deserve for being a part of this as well. So I'll leave that duty up to Marc's blog post, and will hopefully meet them all at the upcoming screening party.
FU MANCHU'S WEAPON OF EVIL debuts on YouTube on the director, Marc Briatack's channel starting November 9th, with a new webisode debuting over the next 8 Mondays to follow.
I hope you enjoy watching it as much as, if not more so than I enjoyed being a part of it.
I've long realized that at a lot on my trips to sex parties, or parties in general, that once I get started, all the wallflowers are wallflowers-no-more.
This has been the case for me since I first came out and started going to Splash to dance. On Saturday nights, I would get there early enough to see when they transform the bar into a club by moving all the tables. See a few people go on the dancefloor dancing aimlessly. Watching this made me less anxious to dance, and as much as I love dancing, it's sad when people take that joy away from you. So I had to go into my own zone and feel it, tuning everyone else out. Then the mood to stop standing on the sidelines, and hit the dancefloor would hit me. What I started to see after a few weeks was that after a few minutes of me on the floor, a bunch of people hit the dancefloor at once.
Before you go there, this is not arrogance. I've watched this closely enough that I can tell you that at the time I hit the dancefloor, few enough people were on the floor that I would know if someone left or entered. And I can testify that some left, but no one entered until the crowd came in all at once - after I had been dancing for a few minutes. Hence how I've concluded that I must give off an energy to draw people in.
This ability to draw people in has followed me from the dancefloor then, to the sex parties now. Even as recent as my last post on sex party etiquette, I seem to be in the pair or group that motivates everyone else. I also did it at the indoor pool party, Banya where I made out with a guy in the jacuzzi, while everyone else was looking and wanting to approach each other, yet being wallflowers. By the time me and my playmate left the jacuzzi, practically everyone was either making out, or making their way to the guy who tickled their fancy, so they could make out with him.
I was wondering if any sex parties have a position like "Motivational Fucker". I believe they do, as I have in the past back when I was doing porn, was invited to the All Male Party that I spoke of in my old blog with that purpose in mind of getting things rolling. I got free entry into the party because of it. And believe me, I am by no means knockin' the free entry, BUT I would like to know is if any parties pay for it instead of giving one free entry. Because if that were the case, I would make myself available to every hot gay and bi sex party in the city. Considering my aforementioned rep at sex parties, I think I should. Not just because of my need for a job, but to think about the process in making that job go off without a hitch would make the gig a thrill from the start.
First, I would get a hot guy who I know wants to have sex with me, and is man enough to not have a specific type, for they know as I do that VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE, plus it makes them easier to become playmates with the patrons. Therefore, our job is to be the first to pair off and/or start a group, and get the sex party started. Making all the wallflowers peel themselves off the wall and get some. If not from us, then with whoever catches their eye. Seeing myself get the party started would be the fuck with my "partner in crime" all the more exhilarating.
I have so many people I would choose to take along with me for a gig like this, I would go from being Motivational Fucker, then quickly promoted to Star Fucker in no time. My buddy from "Live On Stage....FUCKING!" would definitely be considered a partner for the job. My name would become synonymous with starting the freakiness at sex parties. That is....if it isn't already. Because as you may have read here already, I've done some wild shit.
And if you haven't read, I'll leave now to start with this slideshow in doing some naughty research.
I'm Cancelling THIS Sunday @The Hose (10/31/09) [View | Hide]
Hi guys,
Just writing to inform you that I have pulled myself out of dancing this Sunday at The Hose. It was a last minute decision on my part to sign up for it, and I realized that I can't plan (therefore give) a proper show if I don't have the time to prepare, which is something a weekend like one including Halloween doesn't give much of because of the time it takes to make plans for fun and normal matters in one's life.
For those of you who were planning on coming and showing your support, I appreciate the thought, and hope you will when I issue a new date for my appearing there. Thank you.
In Lust With....Denis Reed (10/27/09) [View | Hide]
It should be no surprise for this post to come about since I have mentioned liking Denis Reed in the past. It was watching him in a scene that made me shoot my load while demonstrating the Real Touch at Daniel's place on Fire Island.
Last week, I was inspired to write this when I saw that Chronicles of Pornia thought the same as I about how hot he is. What I'm wondering is whether or not, it's for the same reasons.
I've seen Denis for a few years now, never thinking that he would ever become the object of my lust that he is now. I believe the 1st time I saw him was in the movie, "Inside Jirka Gregor" under the name, Pavel Matous, a name I discovered by way of my research for this post. As it turns out, like most European porn actors, he's been featured under many different names besides Denis Reed. It's just as Denis Reed, he's gotten his art of fucking down so well that his presence in a scene is unforgettable. You would have never known that he would become the undeniable stud he is now from his performance in "Inside Jirka Gregor".
Chronicles of Pornia described Denis Reed as a "fuck machine", and they couldn't be more right in that description. I've found him to be on 5 of the many sites of the Eromaxx network. Those sites being PartyHardcore.com, MadSexParty.com, My-Fetish.net, BiMaxx.com, and GuysGoCrazy.com.
It may disappoint some of you to discover that only 1 of these is a gay website. I don't know how Denis defines his sexual orientation, but I do hope he does like another European favorite of mine, Sebastian Bonnet, and considers himself "bisexual". For the proof of that is undenialable. Whether it's the pussy of a hot chick or the asshole of a hot guy, his never flaccid cock seems to live by the rule that as long as he/she is hot, then pound their orifice to the point of him spraying his man-milk on their bodies, or feeding it into their wanting mouths.
I would love to have a day of Denis satisfying the cum-pig that I am, by spending all day with him fucking my eager tight hole. All rounds would end with me getting sprayed on, except the final round, which would end with me getting fed his naturally-made protein shake, then let it ooze all over my chin.
Hey, give me credit. At least I admitted to being a cum-pig. And I'm sure a great many of you can see why.
Unzipped & Zach Sire Under Fire (10/25/09) [View | Hide]
Racism in the gay porn industry is reaching the point where people are tired of it. Perfect examples of this are from this past week are recent posts at GayPornTimes where J.C. Adams did a post about some complaining about FlavaWorks raised profile on gay porn media sites because of the addition of their only white exclusive, Cody Kyler, coming at the expense of their models of color, which is supposed to be the studios niche. I commented on this. Feel free to check out my response here at your leisure.
There was also a post from my friend, Victor Hoff at MOC Blog addressing Randy Blue's dwindling number in their use of black models, considering how they used a total of 39 since the site's inception in 2003 till now. The problem with this number is that of that 39, 26 were used in the first year. That means from 2004 till now Randy Blue has only used half of that number, 13 over the next 6 YEARS to follow. This needed my commentary also.
In response to this, Zach Sire at Unzipped.net wrote a piece that I (like others) felt was a character assassination against Victor, and showed an immense degree of denial to the reality of racism in American gay porn. I wrote a comment there as well. And I had to, because Zach Sire and the people at Unzipped who felt it was OK for Zach to post this showed a high degree of racial insensitivity. They are obviously whites who take their status in gay porn for granted, and don't take the time to think about the MANY minorities who contribute to money made in the gay porn industry, but are repeatedly ignored by gay porn news sites like Unzipped, The Sword, and Chronicles of Pornia, and producers/directors of "mainstream" studios.
As I always try to, I will give credit where credit is due. In this case, that goes to Chronicles of Pornia, because in light of the situation with FlavaWorks, he was man enough to admit to falling into the trap of ignoring minority talent. Will the other sites and producers/directors be man enough to do the same? I doubt they ever will. But if they do, I will be more than willing to issue an apology for all the vile existence that I am calling them out to be right now.
Some might think the above statement is one of someone jaded and bitter. That would be the opinion of those who are sell-outs - not so much to their race color-wise, but more so to their race by degrees of humanity. I am bitter, but not for myself. I am someone you can say whatever you want about me, I really don't care. You're safe from an attack by me as long as you don't sight a specific reason for your claim, and twist the truth around for the sake of your claim. When you talk about my friends and family however, you are cruisin' for the harshness of a brutally honest verbal bruisin'.
And that is what Zach Sire, and the inepts at Unzipped to allow that post have done here.
Zach Sire has shown himself to be completely racially insensitive, and his superiors at Unzipped Media showed they are no better by allowing it. When I bought the racist incident involving Pierre Fitch to their attention via a comment, Zach deleted the comment, and had the nerve to call it "dumb", grant Pierre Fitch an interview, and saying that people make up stories all the time.
First off, you my loyal readers know that I don't just pull stories out of my ass for publicity's sake. With that in mind, why would I bring up an incident from 2 years ago involving a porn actor whose hey-day of popularity has gone? MAYBE for the sole purpose of helping the integrity of a website or publication (Unzipped) by making them wise to who they are giving such press to, and how it could backfire on them for doing so. For it has come to my attention that my telling of that racist incident involving Pierre Fitch has grown legs in those 2 years ----and it still is THANKS to Unzipped. So like most racially insensitive people, Unzipped has become their own worst enemy. And with that thanks, I also ask Unzipped's forgiveness, for trying to help them maintain some integrity that they obviously don't have ---- ANYMORE.
When an undeniable fact like the one Victor Hoff brought to the forefront about Randy Blue is put in front of you, how can Zach Sire deny that some form of racism is at play here. For even if Zach Sire's actions away from Unzipped show him to not be a racist, the fact that he is in denial of this situation makes him an enabler, therefore just as guilty. As my comments on the matter show, whether the racist actions are motivated by personal feelings or patronage numbers, IT IS WRONG, and the company owner has a decision to make if their existence overall is to be worth a damn. And Zach Sire and those at Unzipped trying to sweep it under the rug, only makes the situation worst to where it is today - where the overlooked minorities and those open-minded (therefore worthwhile of an existence) to be their admirers are getting tired of it to a degree of becoming seriously belligerent, as some comments on the all the aforementioned post show.
This reality of the intolerance of racism in gay porn is plastered all over the blogosphere. Of course you won't see it told to you on the believed to be popular names like GayPornTimes, TheSword, and Fleshbot. Since action speaks louder than words, if it is not a verbal code, their actions show that there is a code they follow to not make this reality known to the public, and that sales are doing OK, when they have actually been falling since BEFORE this recession.
My bringing such points up in my comments on Unzipped.net has had me on the verge of being banned from commenting. Now is that mature, OR is it the move of someone trying to run from the truth. I've never banned, or threatened to ban anyone from this blog for challenging my views. I just demand a name when you do so for the sake of making you own your emotion. Because if you don't own it, then it's not worth acknowledging. With that said, if they want to ban me, let them. Because the funny thing about the truth is that you can try running from it, but you can never hide. So should I ever be banned there, I still have my own blog, and other friends in the blogosphere, so the truth that I speak will get out there. No matter how much people like Zach Sire and his co-horts in denial and other publications try to sweep the obvious truth of racism in gay porn and the gay community under the rug - the truth of racism and America's growing intolerance of it in all forms of media will prevail.
Victor Hoff offered this great quote that I felt was perfect to close this post with: Racism in the Gay Porn Industry is the great, big elephant in the room and many of the top names in the business recognize this. It’s important to remember, though, that we will overcome this ugly stain only by utilizing the cool, powerful arsenal of facts as our weapon of choice. Time, as they say, is on the side of truth and while it may be many more years before minorities get their fair shake in porn, we will win this battle. Of that, I am absolutely certain.
Thanks Victor. It's intelligent words like these that are the reason you are one of (if not THE) top blog on my list.
My DP Candidates....FOUND?! (10/22/09) [View | Hide]
It has recently come to my attention that while searching for pics and video to accompany all my past postings about wanting to be double-penetrated, most of the video clips and pics I came up with (minus the few exceptions like the pic below) are non-American. It really makes me wonder if gay Americans' sexual repression is making them even less adventurous than I orignally thought.
So imaginine my great disappointment in Americans for once again showing such sexual repression, as an overwhelming number of the responses saying that they are willing to DP me are non-Americans living overseas. Even the sexy Swedes said they're willing to help when they arrive for their planned return to New York early next year . Not a bad choice, since I know both of their endowments, and they're both so HOT that just the thought of them standing next to me clothed gets me hard. While the thought of both of their cocks rubbing together while dipping into my ass is a hot thought that is going to have me need to beat my meat if I don't calm down by the time I'm done writing this.
The good news is that I might not have to wait for the Swedes to get here to experience a double-penetration. You see, after running into a friend I haven't seen in awhile out at The Hangar, just as I was losing hope in my fellow Americans, he told me that he read my post, and that he and his boyfriend are more than willing to take my DP virginity away. FINALLY, an American couple. And while I have not been in a 3-way with them before, I have had encounters with them separately.
This friend of mine is one that I originally met last year at one of Daniel Nardicio's parties, Oktoberfist, which was the official after-party for the Gay Erotic Expo NY then. If you recall past posts about Daniel's parties, then you will remember me saying how I often took advantage of their "pants-optional" policy. Well, so did this guy. In fact, he did the Full Monty. He was a short guy with a nice sized cock. While I'm not a size queen, the sight of a cute short guy with a big dick does make my asshole twitch because it's craving to open up for that short guy's big cock to enter me. So I made my way over to him, started up a conversation complimenting his umm....endowment that he didn't seem to mind me touching. And shortly after he simulated fucking me from behind. This only made me want to bottom for him even more, because that simulation showed that he fucks with hard and fast motions like a rabbit. After already getting a quick fuck by the bottom from a fisting demo, I later managed to get tag-teamed by this guy and a taller guy, showing that simulation was very close to the truth about how he moves. After a few more run-ins at some more of Daniel's parties and other places including a run-in at mr. Black that led to a more private fuck session, we became friends.
Like I said before, prior to our chance run-in at The Hanger, I hadn't seen this friend in awhile, so I went to his Facebook page one day to check up on him to discover that he now had a boyfriend. Where it said "In a Relationship with..." I clicked on it to see who the lucky guy was. I saw the face and said to myself, "Hmmmm, he looks familiar. Now, where have I seen him bef---. HOLY SHIT! HIM!!"
My response was because the picture of the boyfriend immediately took me back to a sauna at least a year ago where everyone was starting to feel each other up. I thought this guy next to me was absolutely gorgeous, and we made eyes at each other. I then got up, and he gave me the stare that says, "Go for it!"
And being the lust-bucket that I am, what do you think I did? I went for it, and took every bit of his cock that I possibly could into my mouth. To answer the question that I know is on your dirty minds, YES, the boyfriend is also well-endowed. And I wanted his dick in my ass so badly that night, but never got it. Now, after all this time....it just might happen in a 2-for-1 deal. See, good things do come to those who wait.
Now that I know for sure the size of the cocks that may be doing a DP dip into my ass. All that is left is coming down to a matter of when. And when that "when" should happen, you will be updated. And even if a DP doesn't take place, at least I'll get a great 3-way tale with at least 1 tag-team in it for sure. Hell, the DP may happen, and include a tag-team.
So stay tuned....
Getting Out The Kinks: Undies, Skivvies & Teeny Weenie Bikinis (10/20/09) [View | Hide]
For those of you that have ever seen me at a pants-optional party, sex party, any kind of contest that requires me to drop trou, or even at a pool party, then you may have noticed that I always wear some eye-catching underwear or swimwear.
It's because I have a kink for it.
The reason I haven't blogged about this kink before is because it's nothing new. But I realized that while the kink itself may not be new, explaining the details about what makes it a kink for me may be new to many of you, as my explanations have been in the past.
I've mentioned before how I love the sight of cock. A good-looking man's dick is one I want to take in either one of my orifices the second I lay eyes on it, regardless of whether it's hard or flaccid. Yes, I said even when it's flaccid. I so wish I could do away with the wait for his cock to get hard so he could get inside my ass, but that wait is the price one pays for having a tight hole. A price I'll gladly pay if that tightness is what makes me able to name my suitor's cock, Mr. Happy.
What underwear does is provide a hiding place for Mr. Happy. Any sight of a guy in his form-fitting underwear or swimwear, we can only assume as to whether or not he's a grower or shower, as I did with the hottie I hooked up with at that recent sex party. For we never know for sure unless we have a chance at that intimate moment with him to get an unveiling. Isn't that why we've beaten off to a gazillion underwear catalogs in our lifetime?
With that in mind, I've come to realize that no matter how tiny or revealing one's underwear or swimwear might be, if you want to see that guy's cock and/or ass, you still yearn for the sight of those underwear or swimwear gone from his body. For even the tiniest of thongs is still an obstruction to seeing the beauty of the human form.
So when you get off on seeing a guy in his form-fitting underwear or swimwear, what you are really getting off on is the fact that you are subjecting ourselves to ---- a mere tease. A sweet taste of things to come ---- if you should be so lucky.
Tré Xavier's Stage & Video Show (10/18/09) [View | Hide]
ractically all performers have performers before them that inspire them. To the point that if the opportunity to pay homage to them arises, they are more than willing to do a cover of one or many of that artist's songs. And I am no different, which is why I made a playlist of songs that I would love to do just that very thing with.
These songs' lyrics collectively embody all that you've come to know of me by way of this blog - my romance, my sexuality, my humanity, and my spirituality. You may notice that the 1st half emphasizes my romance and sexuality, while the 2nd half emphaszies my humanity and spirituality.
The original title of the playlist was "Tre Xavier's Stage Show", but I added "& Video" when I realized that a couple of the songs I picked weren't songs I desired to perform a rousing verson of on stage, but in a music video. Those songs are:
In The Closet - I've always felt that video wasn't as sexy as the lyrics suggest. I would have upped the ante on the sexuality, having censors on edge, but still tame enough to be aired on network television; and
Sweet Reunion - Perfect song for a music video that should use dancers doing classic Jazz and Latin dance moves, maybe in a period and/or tropic setting.
2 things you can take away from this playlist is that (1) I'm a big fan of Prince, and (2) like my taste in men and sexual kinks, I am by no means a creature of habit when it comes to my taste in music.
Addressing the Nardicio controversy on MOC Blog (10/15/09) [View | Hide]
Hello again,
Twice in 1 day. My earlier post was a sexy and comedic educational tale, now I must lead you to a bit of drama with a couple of links so you can get the full story.
A controversy recently erupted at MOC Blog because of a post about a contest by Daniel Nardicio for NYC's Hottest Bartender. The controversy stemmed from the fact that of the 2 images below given by Daniel to promote the contest, niether of them featured a man of color.
If you look at the link and the comments, you will see some readers were not very happy with this. Understandable, especially considering how MOC Blog is a site that mainly caters to men of color and their admirers. Knowing of my past with Daniel, Victor Hoff, the author of MOC Blog asked me to offer some insight on the matter, and based on the anti-Daniel commentary from one reader at this follow-up link, I had to reply. My comment was becoming so long that I felt the need to take advantage of my position of being listed as a contributor on MOC Blog. And the link below is what came out of it.
Sex Party Etiquette: Don't Interrupt! (10/15/09) [View | Hide]
In my last post I said that I wasn't going to blog about this past weekend. However, for this post, I must go back on my word in order to explain a much needed point. That point being how at a sex party, one should NOT interrupt a couple having sex. Participate, YES. Interrupt, NO!
This needs further explanation, as I'm sure I'm about to be misunderstood. For it should be expected to be touched by someone other than the one(s) you're having sex with. HELLO, YOU ARE NOT AT HOME, YOU ARE AT A SEX PARTY. It's a matter of your relationship (if any) with one or more of the people involved, and because with that relationship in mind, where and how you touch on one or more of the people having sex.
The incident that made me need to address this rule of etiquette happened this past weekend at a new sex party. I had my sights set on this guy as soon as he walked into the party wearing a white 2(x)ist jockstrap. By the looks of his crotch, I didn't know what to expect should I be lucky enough to get him naked with a hard-on, as I myself am a grower, and not a shower. I made eye contact, and we got to talking. It turns out that I was robbing the cradle BIG TIME by my 38 year-old self lusting for this 21 year-old hottie.We got separated at one point, and when I found him, he was in a conversation with 2 other guys at the party. I stood diagonally behind him, and he never knew I was there until he just happened to turn around. When he saw me there, he said, "There you are!" He put his arms around me, I reciprocated, and this younger hottie took the reins by coming in closer to start making out with me. A lot different than the porn scenarios where the "daddy" makes the 1st move. As it always seems to happen with me, after I hook up with someone and we start making out, the whole room starts making out. And that is exactly what happened in that room that night.
As we started feeling each other up, I could feel his cock getting thicker and needing a release from the crotch of that jockstrap. As usual, I let the other guy show me how far he wants to go, so I let him pull my cock out of my underwear first, then I pulled out his. When I set his cock free, I discovered that he was just like me ----a grower. Even more of a grower to be honest. Just as I was going to wrap my mouth around so I could lick and salivate on his long thick cock, he beat me to the cocksucking by going down on mine first. With him squatting down, I was able to see the room growing with one make-out session after because of the sexual tension we had started.
I whispered to him, "Do you wanna fuck me?"
He whispered back, "Yeah!"
We made our way to the bed, with everyone watching us. We never went off to find other people separately for the entire night. After Round 1, we walked around with the intention of finding a 3rd, because we knew we wanted a Round 2. No such luck, so we went back to the bed for Round 2 with just us 2.
This time, we flip-fucked. It turned out being that he was a lot like me in letting people touch him even though he's not into them. Maybe it had something to do with us sharing a go-go boy past. We were discussing earlier how we found one guy in particular to be a bit gross, yet while my hottie was topping me, the gross guy was touching on both of us. Then we flipped it with me as the top. While I was topping my hottie doggy style, the gross guy crossed the line. He stuck his head under my crotch trying to lick from my nuts to my dick entering my hottie's sweet hole.
What's wrong with this?
The fact that niether me, or my hottie knew this guy. I've done tricks like that before ----when I know the person I'm touching. And where on my body this guy was going for, the point where my dick meets the hottie's hole, was too intimate a part of the sex to place yourself if you are not assocaited with me or him. With that in mind, here's a brief list of OK and NOT-SO-O.K. places to touch on a person when you are a stranger to all of them while they're in the midst of fucking at a sex party:
(1)Feeling on their bodies - OK, for a few seconds at least. Remember, you are a stranger after all.
(2)Attempting to feel an ass - OK, and the top and bottom should allow it - again, for at least a few seconds
(3)Jerking off the bottom's cock - OK to try, but it's the bottom's body, therefore the bottom's call. A top telling you "no" is an overbearing asshole.
(4)Trying to touch the point of intercourse connection with your hands, tonuge, or any other body part - NOT FUCKIN' O.K.!!!! This is when your participation becomes an interruption.
This dipshit made me lose my hard-on by doing this, and I'm sure I'm not the 1st, and because guys like him aren't reading this post, unfortunately I won't be the last. A friend I told this incident to said that I should have let a fart rip while he was down there interrupting. I have to say, that would have served him right for him being where he shouldn't have been. Especially when I'm the 1st guy in awhile to get in that hole, and it damn sure felt like it, too.
Well, at least since I'm passing on this information, so maybe there will be fewer incidents of this kind.
esterday, I posted this tweet on Twitter, which is connected to my Facebook profile:
What a blog-worthy weekend! Epiphanies striking me, fun with friends, and sex that got better with each day, BUT I'm not blogging about it.
A reply I got from one of my friends on Facebook was, "Why the hell not?"
I know his reply to my update was comical, but I'm sure many have come to think of my life as an open book, and I'm more than aware that I've made it appear that way. However, the truth is there are some things best kept to yourself, and I needed the smile that I'm wearing right now after my friend, Andrew's passing.
And speaking of passing, while they are over 95% no cause for smile, it can bring a smile to your face to make what you feel is a nice tribute to one's passing. In the entertainment world, recently was that of Boyzone member, Stephen Gately.
I've mention before having some degree of psychic abilities. What I didn't mention is that I get quite a few signs regarding the entertainment industry.I had one of these psychic moments over the weekend on the subway train when the video for their song, "Love You Anyway" flashed in my brain. I know what all the guys look like, but the only clear face I could remember was that of Stephen Gately. What was also strange about that thought was that it was unprovoked. I wasn't listening to any music, nor did I have my iPod or any kind of music-listening device in my ears, in my hand to connect to my ears, or even plans on listening to music. And I couldn't help wondering why that was the case. Now, I know.
To back track on another passing, yesterday I heard Michael Jackson's 1st posthumous single, "This Is It". I quite enjoyed it, as I am a Michael Jackson fan, and was glad to hear something from him that I never heard before. I hope you will enjoy it as well.
This is starting off as a week to be quite emotionally moving. May these passings and the music they left behind be a reminder of how we should cherish one another while we are alive, because like it or not, we are all connected.
I feel I needed to make up for some erotic posts for 2 reasons:
(1) 2 weekends straight of delaying your horny posts, and
(2) writing so much harsh reality for you to absorb this past week. Even though it was necessary and truthful, and regardles of how some people want to bury their heads in the sand about those matters. And you know who you are.
So while I am back on track in giving you a horny Friday post, which I hope you enjoyed, thanks to a Facebook post from English rap artist QBoy of a sexy music mix, I decided to do my own and share it with you.
When I looked at QBoy's song list, I realized that on the occasions I've had guys over,the music I played music was always New Age music. It's good for the mood, and the only voices you hear are you and your partner(s). However, being I have also been a songwriter, I like words in my songs to both set the mood, and keep up the momentum in whatever I do - and that includes sex. The reason I never did use music with lyrics before is because I was too lazy to put a playlist together, even though it was a constant thought and creative desire of mine.
Well, here it is. Check out the song list from the covers, and see if you anticipate enjoying it. If you do, then feel free to click the link below and download.
Recently, I ventured to a website where if you download the software, what you'll get is a hot model doing a striptease for your viewing pleasure. As long as you decide not to pay, all you will get is just that - a tease. However, if you actually purchase a model, he strips the Full Monty, and some even do cumshots. I will admit that I did purchase some models, but I won't be making buying much more, if any, and it has nothing to do with what I'm about to say next. In fact, it should incite me to buy more. Of those models I purchased, one was a set of twins, Bel Ami models Elijah & Milo Peters. I've mentioned before how I fantasize about being tag-teamed by twins, but that no matter how you look at it, it's still being one brother's cock in your ass directly followed by another. And if it's a double-penetration fantasy, it's even more incestuous because it's two brothers' cocks rubbing against each other.
Ewwwww!! Yick!!! Right?
Well explain to me why I (1) purchased them in the 1st place, and (2) got off on watching them touch and fondle each other?
I can explain #1 as the fact being that I was blinded by the popular fascination with twins, so it took priority over me considering what I might see should I purchase having these twins pop-up on my desktop. So now #2 has me feeling a bit guilty.
It's quite understandable why I feel so guilty right now. Even though the Peters twins didn't have sex, after word of another set of twins actually having sex caused me to give my 2-cents at GayPornTimes.com, I'm feeling like somewhat of what I can't stand...a hypocrite.
It may also explain why with 10.0 being the highest possible rating, that the highest rated of their 3 shows is 8.79. It's most likely because many feel just as guilty as I do, and they took their guilt out on their scores. And I feel that's not fair to the Peters twins. That's why I admit to the fact that my dick was throbbing hard looking at them, and imagining what they would be allowed to do with me if such an opportunity to play with them was possible.
I wouldn't allow myself to have the double-penetration fantasy, but the twin tag-team fantasy however....still stands. Setting those limits in my fantasies helps me get over my feelings of being a hypocrite a great deal. Which is why everytime they pop-up (on my desktop or as a screensaver) I imagine them taking turns taking their lubed-up sweet uncut cocks sliding them back and forth in my ass. And for a creamy finish, letting them shoot their loads on me, and taste each one individually. Maybe even make a game of it where the twin with the better tasting cum gets another go at me.
Now who am I kidding? You and I both know that both twins would be getting another go at me. So the real fantasy is that the twin with the better tasting cum gets to go first, and the other gets the sloppy seconds. And trust me, as much sweat and cum I plan to have all over me, those seconds will be quite sloppy. After all, remember in a recent post that I admitted to being a bit of a cum-pig.
And after looking at the likes of them, do you see a reason for me to want to change that?
Once I decided to not attend Hustlaball NY this year, I was going to write a post about why. It was gnawing thought in the back of my mind telling me to write it, but I tried my best to ignore it, and move on to something else. But those were voices in my head. This past Friday however, I was at the indoor pool party, Baña, and someone asked me if I was going to Hustlaball NY. And when I answered "No", their response was, "Are you boycotting?"
What was strange about his response was the fact that boycotting is based on a social matter, and I don't recall ever making public any disapproval with Hustlaball NY in that regard. Annoyed that I offered myself as a performer to no avail, YES, but that comes with the territory of being a performer in any medium, including the adult industry. Disappointment with the shows, YES. Both of those things, I do recall voicing my opinion on last year, but both of those things may incite apprehension to attend, but not a full-on boycott. That is UNLESS, I can see a social matter is at fault here, which there is. Therefore, the fact is that I am actually boycotting Hustlaball.
What I find amazing is the fact that this guy knew it, even though I haven't even discussed what I'm about to say here (or the subject of Hustlaball period) with anyone once the announcement about Hustlaball NY came out. So it's quite plausible that he sees the same thing that I am seeing, even sub-consciously, and knew I would take a stand on it. I was going to take a silent stand, but once a voice outside of my own entered the picture to suggest I was taking a stand, it took that as a sign to make my stand public.
Last year, I said my purchasing a ticket was going against my new rule of "If I'm not good enough to entertain, then my money isn't good enough either". What I meant by that was NOT if Tré Xavier isn't good enough to entertain, then my money isn't good enough. What I meant was that if you can't find more Blacks and other races to entertain, then the overwhelming number of non-White New Yorkers' money should be considered no good either.
Let's be realistic, have you seen the list of entertainers and sponsors? In regards to entertainers, could it get more light-skin only and predominately white with one of the few (and practically ONLY) named dark-complexions belonging to Diesel Washington, and it's quite believable that's the case only because he is one of the few Blacks represented by one of the sponsors, FabScout. And speaking of FabScout, that brings me to the list of how lily-white and lacking in diversity the list of sponsors is. FlavaWorks is a Gold Sponsor for HustlaBall.....in Berlin. Why aren't they sponsoring it here in NY? Here in New York where the roster of performers for HustlaBall New York can be more reflective of the diversity in citizenship therefore patronage that exist here even more so than it does in Berlin . So as far as the list of performers go, that's why I'm boycotting HustlaBall New York.
Now my final reason for boycotting is plain and simple...HustlaBall New York is a rip-off.
I have never been to a HustlaBall outside of New York, but I know others who have, and I have seen the ads for other like the upcoming one in Berlin. In short, HustlaBall overall is marketed to come off with the sexuality at a height like it's another Black Party. Maybe the Berlin version is, but the New York version is an over-priced imitation, yet you are paying practically the same price as you would to get into the Black Party . In other words, it's the typical American attitude of prudishness towards sexuality that is crippling New York City's gay nightlife. The Black Party flips the bird to it. If HustlaBall NY is going to market themselves to be so much like the Black Party, why can't they man-up and flip the bird to that prudishness as well?
Some of you may have already bought tickets for HustlaBall NY, and are now asking yourself, "Why?" Well, if you see all that I have stated here at this year's HustlaBall NY, take this as a lesson learned to not make the same mistake next year. I made that mistake twice already. It would be quite foolish of me to do it a third.
Let's just hope HustlaBall New York steps their game up, and proves me wrong. BUT how often does that happen?
Being inspired by Tuesday episodes of The Tyra Banks Show seems to be becoming a habit. First it was "Let Calvin Save Calvin", now this post because of her topic today on male prostitution. This is something I've been meaning to tackle for awhile now. All I needed was something to light a fire under me to make it happen. And forget the entire episode, just word of its subject matter was enough for me.
The reason this subject has particular meaning for me is because a great deal of studio-produced porn is comprised of scenes where the directors picks a scene partner, and not the actors themselves. This is NOT the way it should be. A porn actor should not have to work his/her way up to the point of being able to choose their own scene partner either. It should be the actor's choice from the start, because whenever that right is taken away from a porn actor at whatever point of his/her career, the porn director becomes a pimp, and he makes the porn actor a prostitute.
It really pisses me the fuck off to hear people who view porn say, "They should deal with it, because it's acting."
And my response to them is this, and that may very well mean YOU:
YOU DUMB INSIGNIFICANT BITCH, HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH AN ASININE ASSUMPTION OF WHAT A PORN ACTOR DOES! Walk a mile in these shoes and see how you like having sex with someone you have no chemistry with. If you have in your personal life out of sheer horniness, then you know in hindsight that it is by no means fun! And so what if I was getting paid for it. The fact is the word "actor" in the title of "porn actor" is just a word. There's not suppose to be any acting involved as far as the chemistry between you and your scene partner(s) is concerned. Therefore the word should really be "porn performer" as I'm suppose to be getting paid for allowing the FUN of performing the natural next step in attraction called "sex" to be seen by many. I'm not supposed to be getting paid for fucking with no regard to chemistry. That's what a prostitute does.
No disrespect to prostitutes. If that's what you do, then that's what you do. But there is a line between being in porn and being a prostitute. Hence the reason I am so adamant about how it should NOT be the director's call of who gets paired with whom, but the actors. For porn is a visual medium meant to please the voyeur in us all. And any voyeur is looking to see sex born from genuine attractions, not pretend attractions. Pretend attractions is what prostitutes get paid for, and the reason why the act is practically always behind closed doors. And it is that line between genuine and pretend that separates a porn actor from a prostitute. However, many porn producers/directors refuse to acknowledge that, hence the well-deserved erosion of the American gay porn industry that helped in making me decide to leave.
Looking back, maybe it's been this way in the porn industry all along, which would explain the stigma of rampant drug use within it. Who wouldn't need a hit of something to alter your brain after being put it that situation numerous times a day, week, month, and/or year? That could do a great deal of damage to one's psyche. I can tell just from the couple of times I've been put in that situation for a movie.
After such a statement it is safe to assume that I have some reservations about prostitution. It's mainly in regards to how I wonder one, especially with good finances can get romantically involved with a prostitute. Remember my saying how a porn actor's attraction is suppose to be genuine while a prostitute's is pretend. While both include having sex, my reservation about prostitution is how "pretending" for an adult is a nice way of saying "lying". So if your lover's job entails "pretending" to like someone, because he/she is getting paid for it, if your are as broke as a joke, then you can assume the feelings are real. BUT if you are financially well off, and he says that he loves you, can you trust that he is not "pretending" with you in hopes and getting a payday in the future?
I seem to often attract financially well-off men, and not by seeking them out. Fate just happens that way. The reason I brought up that reservation is because I never wanted my being in porn to make my suitor have the concern that I was after his money. I wanted him to know that I'm a highly sexual person, which contributed to why I could do porn, but never question my heart. By porn actors not demanding a scene partner of their liking, they put themselves in line to not only have to deal with a lover's possible jealousy, but also call into question their motivation as to why they are in the relationship. That is meant to be an additional dilemma for a prostitute, not a porn actor, which is why I don't think someone can be a prostitute, and be in a romantic relationship with someone with good finances. Because whether they admit it or not, that question will always be there for the partner with the good finances, which I'm sure is why most of those relationships eventually fall apart. And as far as the prostitutes that claim to be "gay-for-pay", after all I've said about that in past blog entries, don't get me started on the problem with them. For my words will be, as they always have been on that subject matter...a lot worse.
In all I have said here, I mean no disrespect to either profession. I am simply expressing my concern as to how situations are handled, and the effect it has on those doing the actual work - the porn actors and the prostitutes. NOT the pimps, which nowadays along with the usual street version often includes porn producers and directors as well.
And all you guys who don't live in New York, but visit here looking for a hot lay during your stay, don't think you're off the hook either. You come to New York with a lover or friend-with-benefits looking for a 3-way, and you forget all about me. Even after all your emails and comments on my videos and social sites show that you're sure I can provide a good lay. Shame on you! I am now hurt and dismayed :-(
The only replies from guys willing to be one of the DP tops are hot guys from overseas, including my past trick from "French Kiss, Big Bliss". And from what I said of that sexscapade, considering how big (but surprisingly easy) an undertaking he was alone, I don't think 2 would be so easy, as it was tried some time after with 2 other thick cocks to no avail, because I was mentally prepared for a 3-way, but not one including a DP. But I would be willing to give another go at it. Then again maybe it would be easy, because I've always believed that my willingness to take on the French guy's monster cock is how it took him only 2 tries to get in me. I've had less thick scene partners who needed more than twice that many tries.
Now, I've had a brief moment as a DP top, so I know how hot it can be, so what the hell are you waiting for? You have a versatile/bottom here in NYC willing to at least try to take 2 of you studs on simultaneously. You know I have my misgivings about Americans being prudish. Please don't give me more ammo to make me able to close my case. Considering when in my search for clips of double-penetration to bring some heat to this post, and most of them found being from non-American produced porn, I'm not too far from making the closing of my case official. Is that what it's come to, America? Do I have to wait for 2 hot and kinky tourists from overseas to come and do what I'm sure any American male hottie can? After all, no matter where on the globe you're from, you do use your sex-cravin' dick to define you as a male, don't you? Or do I need to get on a plane taking me outside the country in order to get 2 moist, lubed-up cocks rubbing against each other while being tied together by my stretched out (for a night) craving hole?
OK guys, this is my 3rd plea for a double-penetration. They say the 3rd times a charm, and the number 3 isn't usually very lucky for me. So why don't a couple of you guys help prove my superstition about the number 3 wrong. Now considering how seldom I am wrong in what I say here, wouldn't it help your getting off to be one of the few and the proud people who can make me wrong by double-pleasuring me?
Think about it ;-)
Preview Tre X's Next Dance (10/2/09) [View | Hide]
I’ve heard it said that you are at your most creative when you’re depressed. I don’t know how true that is, but after the news of my friend’s passing, something has been sparked.
There are past posts where I have spoken of wanting to do another dance video. At the time, I had no idea of exactly what songs I would use. All I knew for sure is that it would once again be a medley. Well, as I mourn the lost of my friend, Andrew, that creative spark lit a fire under me to get started, and out of nowhere, I knew 3 of the 4 songs I was going to use.
I wanted the medley to be compromised of songs that many might not know, even if they know the artist. My intent is to create a new audience for that song as all 4 songs are over a decade old.
So now, all that’s left is finding the time to choreograph a routine, and booking a studio with the medley already produced to be a length of about 4 ½ minutes. And with the exception of 1 song, this video leaves you guessing how much and what part of each song is in the medley….Please ENJOY.
In Memory Of My Friend, Andrew (9/29/09) [View | Hide]
Sunday evening I got some sad news. The mother of my dear friend, Andrew Jonas called me to tell me that Andrew had passed away around 4:30 that afternoon. This was totally unexpected news to me, because as far as I knew nothing was wrong with him. I was understandably numb at first, and the whole time I was talking to his mom on the phone, not a tear came to my eye. I was already out, and planning on going out to Daniel Nardicio's new party, SpeakEasy after a quick stop at home to shower. Once home, when I sat down, I broke down.
Believe it or not, I did go to SpeakEasy, and that made me forget for a couple of hours, but once I returned home, the tears came again, then I fell asleep. Then I had one of those dreams that felt so real. The fact it was only a dream should have been obvious, because in it, I never saw Andrew's face, but I heard his voice. I have no idea of what he was saying, but just my hearing his voice made me say, "It was all a mistake. Thank goodness he's not dead."
But then I woke up, and when I realized that it was a dream, therefore my mistaking that dream for reality was the mistake, I laid in my bed and started crying all over again Monday morning.
I have never experienced losing a friend before. Sad to say, but in this day and age, most people my age have experienced losing a friend at least once. My most loyal readers may recall the fact that my social life didn't begin until I was nearing 31 years old. So all the social situations of friends, dating, even a 1st kiss, that teenagers take for granted, eluded me for all those years. In regards to friends, during those teenage years, many of us make our friends that we have for the rest of our lives. So in my case, I have a couple of friends from my early 20's who to my surprise (because of my mindset at the time) fall into that category of "lifelong friends". But since then, few have come into my life to give me that caliber of friendship again.
My friend, Andrew was one of those select few.
We met at Will Clark's Porno Bingo about 3 years ago when it was held at the 9th Avenue Bistro. Being forever the observer before making myself approachable, I watched Andrew's extrovert personality in action as he was part of Cheer NY at the time, as they were and still are often a beneficiary for some nights of Porno Bingo. I was quite drawn to his extrovert personality as it was opposite of myself. Now, some extroverts I feel are best left alone, but Andrew was one that I wanted to know, because his way of being a social butterfly had a grace I felt I could learn from. We exchanged numbers, and kept in touch. So if asked if I feel I did learn from him. I feel I have. A very great deal in fact. Which is why we had become such great friends over those 3 years.
One thing that saddens me about his passing is the fact that the chance to learn even more has now been taken from me, and the others who felt the same way about him. For Andrew's joyous manner was infectious, even when he himself was not in the best place. And I've always felt that if you didn't catch the "be happy" vibe he was sending out, then the flaw lied in you, not Andrew.
Losing Andrew also means this world losing one of the most thoughtful people ever. He was one of my biggest cheerleaders about my blogging. Anytime I told him of the bad things said about me either in comments here or on another blog, he always reassured me that I wasn't being the whiner some tried to claim me to be. He always reassured me of how I was telling the truth that many can't handle. One of those truths were about racism. I know few White men willing to have an in-depth conversation about racism with a Black man, because they've jumped on the bandwagon of believing it will cause "Angry Black Man Syndrome", so whatever we say will be proof of Blacks being paranoid or over-dramatic. But not Andrew. He never took that low road. Instead, he asked questions because he knew he came from a life where he didn't experience the denials based on race in predominately White environments. He was a thoughtful enough person to want to know what is the viewpoint of those who are unjustly being denied, and what are the signs in the outcome to prove it. So whatever he learned from my blog, he often asked me point blank to go deeper into it. And his bravery to ask and willingness to listen made him that much more special a human being.
There is a little voice in my head reminding me the expression of "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it", and how I wanted friends so badly growing up. It's obviously a negative voice because it's reminding me of how having friends means eventually having to endure the pain of saying "goodbye", so maybe going back to my hermit life is best to avoid dealing with the pain I'm feeling now. I then have to ask myself this:
Isn't it better that I know and love people for a short time, rather than to have never known and loved them at all? If they never entered my life, how would I grow?
I then turn this by asking without Andrew ever entering my life, where would I be? And I answer myself realizing I wouldn't be in a good place.
So after losing Andrew, I'm experiencing for myself of how many have said that God takes all the good ones first. When he took Andrew, so unexpectedly, he most certainly did. And while I am saddened by it, I refuse to ask God, "Why?" As the God-believing man that I am, I have chosen to believe that taking Andrew is God's test for us to continue in ourselves what Andrew brought to our lives and past it on in our interactions with each other. The joyful manner, the non-judgement, the bravery, and the willingness to learn are just a few of the things Andrew brought into so many lives.
May he live on by us passing those ways on.
My MOC Blog "Exit" Interview (9/29/09) [View | Hide]
Besides the reasons for retiring from porn that I gave in "R.I.P. Tré Xavier - Porn Actor", another reason I retired was because sex was becoming mundane work on a porn set. I mean, I know it's supposed to be work, but it's supposed to be fun work. It is sex after all, and that's why I believe many performers got into doing it in addtion to a regular 9 to 5 in the first place. And the mundane work porn has become in additon to the mundane manner of a 9 to 5 is what probably give some degree of truth to the belief of how much drug use porn actors do. I feel if studios are going to strip porn of that fun, then I'm better off doing only my 9 to 5. Like my friend Achmat said of how the bright lights take away from it, he couldn't be more right. So I prefer going to a party, and having a hot guy(s) with whom I can put on a LIVE show instead.
I seem to know how to pick guys to make out with at parties whose sexual energy combined with mine will cause sexual behavior to become infectious. I've done it at Baña, where everyone was sitting around in the jacuzzi, like scared teenage male wallflowers at a school dance. Me and a friend started making out. When we got out, we looked back to find guys starting to follow our lead - finally.
The same thing happened at a sex party recently. On 2 floors, no one was doing much of anything. With that being the case, the attendant I was attracted to had some free time, so we started making out. THEN guys wanted to either join in with us, or start their own thing with each other. Well, I may have done it again recently, and with someone I have told a tale about before.
Not too long ago, I went to this party that had a "Scout" theme. There was a tent on stage, just as the ad said there would be. The ad also said that "whatever happens in the tent, stays in the tent." I knew that if I had a friend along with me for this party, it would have to be someone I could have fun with, and maybe take advantage of that promo line about the tent. Therefore, it should be no surprise to know that I forwarded the email to my partner in crime from Daniel Nardicio's XXX Birthday Cruise - Sleaze On The Seas, and he while he was at first considering laying low that weekend, it didn't take long for him to change his mind, and meet me there.
We didn't go at each other as soon as we saw each other. We talked, danced a bit, and then he suggested going into the tent. We made our way to the tent, slipped inside, and had an oral field day on each other. The more I sucked his dick, the more I wanted it in me, but I was quite patient before asking, "You wanna fuck me?"
He said, "Yeah!"
He had a bag with all essentials of condom and lube just as I had them in my pocket, and we went at it. I was surprised at how many positions we pulled off in that small space. It was a tent big enough for I believe 2, but no more than 3 people to sleep in. FUCKING IN IT is a different story. I guess like they say, "if there's a will, there's a way".
And we did wind up putting on a show, because the design of the tent is similar to the one in the picture on the left. It had mesh all around it just below the dome, as well as mesh on the top half of the door. So you could easily see something was going on in that tent from looking from the front. But if you got right up on it and looked from above, you got to play voyeur to a live sex show.
My friend shot a massive load all over himself. I came out of the tent to get him some paper towels so he could wipe himself off. Even after wiping himself off, we wreaked of cum, and being the sex pig that I am, that smell made me want to lick that remnants of cum off of him, and take in his dick again. Instead of having a Round 2, we got out of the tent, and the party seemed to thin out a bit from what it was before we got in the tent. I wonder did we make people get so horny that they had to go off and make their own show in their private places.
Tales like this is why I've come to like showing my exhibitionist spirit away from the camera. It's just like how many mainstream actors say they prefer stage to recorded media of film & video. With the stage, you get that immediate reaction, and you can see the effects of your performance on the audience, but with film & video, you can only imagine.
The same holds true with having sex in front of many. You have an audience of voyeurs with their hard-ons saluting every proper thrust by the top, and every correct vocal and physical response from the bottom. Every top in the crowd wishes every tingling sensation going through that top's dick was going through his, while every bottom wishes the sensation of that dick going back and forth rubbing the nerves of the performing bottom in such a pleasurable way was rubbing that way through their own canal. Hence how the party begins,....
....and hence why I love to inspire by fucking LIVE.
Tuesday afternoon I tuned into The Tyra Banks Show having no idea what the topic of the day was. I discovered that a big part of it was about gay teens being ostracized by adult superiors.
Growing up in a religious household, I definitely identified with the young male, Calvin, who claimed to go to a ministry that performed an exorcism so that he would no longer be gay. I never went to the extent of trying to be exorcised of a demon, but after all the times I have mentioned my coming out process, you may recall my years of contemplating suicide. The couple heading the ministry claiming to be a "prophet" and an "overseer" troubled me immensely. I knew I was going to either write a comment on TyraShow.com for everyone to see, or email the show directly with my feelings.
I put it off for sharing those feelings for hours. Hours that went into the next day. But at an unexpected moment the youngster, Calvin's face flashed in my mind, and that unexpected moment caused an unexpected reaction...
...I got choked up.
Realizing how Calvin is in some way me in my teenage years, I knew I had to say something. Give some testament as to how I understand his pain, and he won't truly be a man until he lives for himself knowing God STILL loves him. So with a lump in my throat, I went to TyraShow.com to the page where you can give viewer comments and possibly be on the show, and started reliving my history with this message:
It just would not feel right to me if I didn't comment on yesterday's show with that couple claiming to perform exorcisms on that gay teenager.
I saw my younger self in that 16 year-old young man, and it broke my heart. I grew up in a religious household where it was discovered in my elementary school years that I had sexual feelings towards both females and males. But the feelings towards males was more dominant. I was told by my mother THEN that if I had sex with a man I would immediately go to hell. This led me to have a far from normal social life for a teenager. I had friends, but never let them get a normal degree of close. Nor did I date. And when the slightest thing went wrong in my life, I contemplated suicide. This went on for all those years from my teen years until my coming to terms with my sexuality. I was 7 weeks from turning 31, and I realized that I STILL did not know my sexual orientation. So I went to put myself out in the social scene to find out. Just so you know, before this I was a virgin - no sex with women or men.
About 3 years later, I got into the gay porn industry. While I am an exhibtionist at heart, I do believe a part of me got into porn because all those years of sexual repression made me feel the need to show my sexual self to the world. I just recently retired from it. I don't regret my past in porn, or have shame over it, but realizing what AT THAT TIME made me feel the need to be a part of it is what troubles me.
Enough about me. My concern is the young man, I believe his name was Calvin. Calvin went to that couple because the same fear that was instilled in me was instilled in him. He's only 16, so he's fearing getting kicked out of his home, he's fearing being ostracized. Calvin was hurting from those fears, and that couple took advantage of that and shoved their own beliefs down his throat. And no matter what they tell you, it was for the sake of stroking their own ego. Which I'm sure will cause more hurt to Calvin in the long run if he doesn't realize that he's not choosing his own path. If you can somehow pass the message along to Calvin that he will TRULY be loved and respected for being true to himself. If he keeps up the facade, the love he thinks he is giving and receiving will never be real. Thank you.
I hope my message does reach Calvin, and that others feel the need to send him the same message of loving himself before the effects of what that ministry did takes such a hold on him that he will never be free to be. And if that results in something like Calvin committing suicide, or becoming a molester, that is blood on that ministry's hands, but you know they will never own up to. So I hope these messages save him before it's too late.
R.I.P. Tré Xavier - Porn Actor (9/22/09) [View | Hide]
Well this post is to announce that it is official - I am leaving the porn industry.
In recent months, I have been doing so many projects outside of the industry that looking for an opportunity to get back in front of the camera has become of no relevance to me. I have often said in my blog posts of how easy it should be to bow out of this industry because "it's only porn", and now I am practicing what I preach.
Furthermore, between all the racism, false hopes, and disregard for performers' and audiences' welfare that I have faced and written numerous posts about over time, I had to ask myself as to whether or not being in this industry makes me happy. And the truth of the matter is thanks to the racism, false hopes, and disregards by agencies like FabScout and studios like Big City, Black Scorpion, Falcon, Jet Set, Lucas, Raging Stallion, and Tyson Cane, I'm not happy being a part of it at all. In fact, looking at the porn industry as a whole, I realized the undeniable fact that because of the companies I mentioned (and those I didn't whose actions wreak the same results), the American gay porn industry is eroding, and I am getting out before it erodes me with it.
In regards to all the posts that I've written about what's wrong with this industry, I wrote all those posts with the hopes of making this industry take a needed look at itself and make itself better in the process. This is something I do for myself, and I expect others around me to do the same. But seeing how so many porn news websites like Unzipped.net and The Sword (due to their current "leadership") insist on reporting fluff instead of the reality that we performers face that are often symbolic of what's happening in the American gay community made me ask myself this question:
Why am I fighting to better an industry where the people in it have repeatedly chosen to ignore my intellect, integrity, and creativity, thereby making that industry way more than a little unworthy of my or anyone else's prowess of such high caliber?
The fact is the American gay porn industry has become a revolving door of performers. There are no more porn legends. There's now just a bunch of guys with high-rates who will never become a Jeff Stryker or Peter Berlin, names I'm sure many of you even in your 20's heard of at some point. What happens now is that just as soon as they get a decent-sized fanbase, those models with enough skill to do other things decide to move on, as I am doing now (and Trent Atkins has already done) because producers/directors and agents have allowed their lecherous ways suck the fun out of this industry.
It's not just me who feels this way. Fans of the porn industry are now becoming former fans of the industry, and turning to amateur porn instead. Because we watch porn to play voyeurs, and these big name studios have forgotten that. Well the former fans haven't forgotten, as it is proven by this quote from my friend, Achmat, as it is a sentiment shared and told to me by many, some total strangers who didn't even know I did porn:
"I love amateur porn because it captures the essence of sex. People are as they are and not what the label wants them to be...Amateur porn captures the fantasy, desire, and passion that the bright lights, pay checks, and fake tans have eroded."
Now, my being in this industry hasn't been all bad. I made some great friends along the way. And it is the industry that gave birth to the "Tré Xavier" persona, which is why if this industry shows any signs of healing its self-inflicted hemorrhage, I will return. But for now, the time has come to move on and take the persona to a higher level. And with all that I've been doing lately, I'm just getting started.
I'm sure based on this post many of my loyal readers fear that this blog will be no more. Well I am assuring you here that while "Tré Xavier - Porn Actor" is no more, "Tré Xavier - Blogger" is still alive and well, which means THIS BLOG ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE. So porn companies and publications, you still need to be on your guard from me calling them out.
For I will still be watching you.
Why would I let my blog go now when I believe I have turned "Tré's X-Ray Vision" from being just another porn actor's blog, to being a blog from a porn actor with a social conscience, to a blog from a regular socially aware guy who just happens to be an exhibitionist. The reason this metamorphosis is important to me is because exhibitionism with the title "porn actor" attached to it can get one treated like a god, and way too many porn actors start believing that of themselves. I however always wanted it to be that no matter what your country of birth or residence, you can say that I'm your brother, and in no way should be or (more importantly) seeks to be treated like a god.
You have all taken me on this great journey, and helped in giving me the courage to move on to the next chapter. I hope you will move on with me, and with that strength added to mine, I will not disappoint.
So now, think of this video as me washing off yesterday, so I can be refreshed in taking on today and beyond.
Music: "Love Wasn't Built In A Day" (Instrumental Version) featuring Dave Koz
You may have noticed my website, Tre-X.com is no more. Well along with that my email address has now changed as well. Please note that my new email address is trexavier@rocketmail.com.
The main reason for the dissolve of the website is the reason I am writing this email. It is to inform you that I am officially leaving the porn industry. This should come as no surprise considering all I have said in my blog posts over time, PLUS the fact that the last time I was on a porn set was to do my dialogue with Mario Ortiz for “ALL OUT ASSAULT”(Knight Stick Films) in January 2008. And just before I signed on for that movie, I was on the verge of quitting, but doing appearances on behalf of the movie (which I am very much proud of as it shows the diversity I’ve often complained about) kept me around a little bit longer, hoping the industry would better itself during that time.
I will go into more detail in my upcoming post about my leaving porn tomorrow, September 23rd, which will be followed shortly after by an “exit” interview by Victor Hoff of MOC Blog.
Lastly, while “Tré Xavier, porn actor” is going away, “Tré Xavier, blogger” is not. So keep checking in on this blog as I will continue to look beyond the surface of what we’ve been told about sex, life & love. Thank you.
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