anything Mercedes Lackey, Anita Blake Series by Laurell K Hamilton, and japanese mangas like "Bleach"
Am currently writing my first full length novel "Fae Fire" read my blog.
TV Shows I Like:
Futurama, Family Guy, Mindfreak, American Chopper, InuYasha, Bleach, House
The sounds of music ringing in the air, like the falling of snow or rain resinate within my soul. The notes sounding from my harp is almost magical to hear.
I dig music and literary art above all else. Photography is a close second, though there isn't much that I like to take pictures of.
These are places I like, and took pics of.
I prefer to be single over dating white guys, no offense just my preferrence. They just don't do anything for me.
check out my Second Life business page at http://www.silverlustdesigns.weebly.com
For those of you that paid attention to the news today, there was something truly devestating, very close to home. I live less then 5 minutes away from the U.S.'s largest and safest armored military base. Well obviously, its not that safe if something like this took place. I want to point out that I strongly believe this was a terrorist attack, perpetrated by 3, yes count them, 3 US soldiers! It was an eventuality that should have been planned for, but alas not everything can be thought out and planned for. At this very moment I do hope all the people I know on post here are alive and well. And ask that all my readers pray for the victims of this aweful attack.
"FORT HOOD (November 5, 2009)—Fort Hood remains on lockdown late Thursday afternoon after a shooting that apparently involved three soldiers that left 12 people dead and 31 more injured. Fort Hood Commander Lt. Gen Bob Cone said at a news conference late Thursday afternoon that one shooter was killed and two suspects were apprehended on Thursday. He said they are all U.S. soldiers. ABC News indentified the shooter as Maj. Malik Hassan. Cone said all the casualties occurred at about 1:30 a.m. at the base's Soldier Readiness Center in the post’s Sports Dome where soldiers who are about to be deployed or who are returning undergo medical screening. He said the primary shooter used two handguns in the attack. Witnesses, however, said more than one soldier opened fire. Earlier reports indicated there were shootings in at least two separate locations, but Cone said all of the victims were in the processing center. One of the dead is a civilian police officer, Fort Hood confirmed. All available ambulances and paramedics in the area responded to the post. Some of the wounded were taken to Darnall Army Medical Center and others were flown or taken by ambulance to Scott & White Hospital in Temple. Scott & White confirmed it is operating under a mass casualty protocol. Killeen elementary schools on post released students before the shooting, but children who were in after school programs on the campuses will be held at the schools until further notice from Fort Hood, the district said. Middle schools on post are holding students until notice from Fort Hood. Students who would normally be taken from off-post schools to Fort Hood are being held at schools, as well. Central Texas College’s central campus is now on lockdown. The school said a decision would be made about evening classes. Updates will be posted on the school’s Web site. Temple ISD reports schools are on a "soft" lock down in connection with the Fort Hood. "Temple Police Department requested Temple ISD place all campuses and district buildings in a soft lockdown, due to a situation at Fort Hood, TISD spokesperson Regina Corley told News 10 by news release. "We have been directed to follow our regular dismissal schedule," Corley said in a follow-up release. Temple Police Sgt. Brad hunt told News 10 police units have been dispatched to all schools and Scott and White Hospital. Hunt said parents should expect delays because of lockdown. Fort Hood is also locked down and no one was being allowed on or off post. An xxx="blogger-post-footer">
I went to an all guys academy before I went off to university, everywhere I turned I was surrounded by hot guys. Sure some of them were prudes; though I knew that some of them like to get their freak on. All year long, I had to endure that I was surrounded by hot guys, and that I couldn’t do anything with any of them. Our school was strict about sexual fraternization, I didn’t want to risk expulsion, but this was bordering on sexual frustration to the point of insanity. Takashi, was the captain of the swim team and my roommate, so it was natural for me to be obsessed with him. He had the body of a swimmer, where as I had the body of a dancer, we were like yin and yang. I suppose were exact opposites, however, we got along quite well. Where he was quite and well mannered, I was a little loud and a bit rude as well. One night, when we were cramming for exams, we got bored and decided to go to the pool near our dorms for a swim. It was, of course, my idea. I knew that Takashi would go along with it, because he would do almost anything to be in water. We grabbed our swim gear, and I brought shampoo and conditioner as well before we headed down to the Aquatics Center. The pool was empty of people, since it was late and most of the other students would still be studying or out on dates. Takashi and I would have the pool to ourselves, which was nice since it meant that there wouldn’t be people yelling or screaming. It also gave me the opportunity to watch Takashi change and shower without someone trying to protest. I sat down on the bench in the locker room, so that I put our shower gear in a small locker. Takashi sat down next to me so that he could take off his shoes and socks, mine were already in the locker. When I turned around to take my jeans and shirt off, Takashi was already nude and folding his clothes neatly to maximize space in the locker. I couldn’t help but look him up and down like a dog with a juicy steak. He must have noticed me staring, cause he looked over at me as he slid his hand over his dick. “Hiroshi, what are you looking at?” Takashi asked me shyly. “A, shitsuerai Takashi” I apologized for my rudeness. He was the only person I would apologize to for being rude. Takashi, knew for a fact now that I was attracted to him, so he was going to take full advantage of it. He was tall, for a Japanese male, standing at a full six foot two inches. He kept his hair long and shaggy in the emo style, it was a dirty blonde almost a sandy brown. It looked good on him, it complimented my short reddish hair. The carpets didn’t match the drapes, because he had wood floors. His dick was thick, and curved slightly to the right, at seven and a half inches. This wasn’t the first time that I’ve seen him naked, but it was the first time that I have seen his dick resting against this heavy balls. I wanted to drop to my knees right there and suck it and swallow his cream. I was finally nude as well, I turned around so that he wouldn’t be staring at my tight little bubble butt. Sure, it would have been more entertaining to bend over and slowly glide my hands up my body like a stripper at one of the Host Clubs, so he could see my tight little asshole flex for him. But this would have to do. I looked over at him and saw his eyes flicker over my dick. His reaction made me blush massively, as I slid my hand gently over my flat stomach down to my newly shaven eight inch cock. When I looked into Takashi’s eyes, I grabbed my swim gear and headed to the showers. Takashi followed closely behind me, close enough that I could have felt his breath on my neck. I would have stopped so that he would have been forced to bump into me, but I couldn’t play hard to get that way. I was almost certain that he knew what I wanted, and it sure wasn’t a dip in the pool. “Why are you standing so close Takashi?” I asked over my shoulder with a devilish grin on my face. “Just trying to get you to walk faster.” he said with a hint of a chuckle. It seemed that I wasn’t the only one that wanted to skip the pretense of the pool, but I wanted to be in the water just as badly. This was going to be fun. The showers were just like any other shower area at a pool. A single large room with shower heads protruding from the walls. In the back of the room, there were stalls with shower curtains that were big enough for two people to share and conserve water. I motioned for Takashi to join me in one since we were the only ones here, and it would save time to share a shower. Everything in the shower stall was done in beautiful mosaic, depicting, water and swimming. Nice theme work, I suppose if you were into that. I followed Takashi into the stall and pulled the curtain closed behind us, while he turned on the water. We shared the water, as I ran my Speedo under the water and let the water play over my skin. Takashi followed suit, putting his swim cap and goggles under the water before stepping under the torrent of water himself. I stepped back and watched the water glide down his tight swimmers body. How I longed to be that water right now, sliding down his body, down his chest to drip off his dick. When he was wet enough, he turned the water off and slid his Speedo on, having to adjust his cock so that it looked like the swimsuit was painted on. I did the same, though when I slid my cock inside the tight material, I had to make sure my cock went along to the right, otherwise my dick would stick out of the top of my swimsuit. Takashi struggled not to start laughing, when I turned around and my dick popped out of my Speedo. I looked down and started laughing out right, because it was really hilarious to see. The look on my face showed defeat, but Takashi came to stand in front of me. He was gentle as he grabbed my dick firmly, and slid it back into my Speedo in such a way that it wouldn’t pop out if I moved too much. “Arigato Takashi.” I managed to say without blushing. I savored the touch of his hand on my dick, his hands were soft and smooth, like the rest of him. It was very hard not to get a hard on, from him touching me, and I fought against it. “No worries Hiroshi, it happens a lot.” he replied with a disarming smile on his face. The pool was Olympic size, mainly for competitions that frequently took place once every couple of weeks. It was also Takashi’s second home, he spent a lot of time in the water, practicing and training. I waited by the edge of the pool for a few moments before diving in followed by Takashi. I swam a few laps, just to get my heart pounding while Takashi watched. This was why Takashi loved swimming, it cleared his head and let him be at peace. It was a great feeling, as I swam over to where Takashi waited quietly. He had positioned himself in a corner with his arms stretch back over the edge of the pool, watching me intently. I could have continued swimming laps, but I had something else on my mind, and I was sure that Takashi knew what that was as well. When I reached Takashi, I propped an arm on the edge of the pool, and looked at him while I took a moment to relax. The water was quite nice, it wasn’t too cold or too warm. Just the way I liked it, which meant the water wouldn’t make my dick shrink. “What’s the matter?” I asked Takashi. I could tell from the look on his face that something was working around in his mind, and I seriously wanted to find out what it was. “There’s nothing the matter, I was just watching you swim.” he replied cheerfully. I looked at him as he turned his head away from me. His profile showed me just how beautiful he truly was, so I leaned in and licked his neck teasingly. “Hiroshi, what are you doing?!” he said in surprise and shock. I didn’t know what to say, I was shocked at what I had just done. Takashi had the look of horror on his face, which melted into a devilish grin. That made me feel less like an idiot, but not by much. “I’m only joking Hiroshi, how did you know I like being licked?” he said questioningly. I had to look him in the eye to know he was telling the truth, then again I knew that most swimmers like being licked. I still savored the taste of him on my tongue, he tasted like fruit with a hint of soy sauce. It was like an aphrodisiac, so intoxicating that I wanted more much, much more. Takashi must have been following my train of thought for he leaned into me and started teasing my lips with his tongue and teeth. While he had me distracted, he managed to get me pressed into the corner that he had previously occupied. I didn’t fight it, in fact I was eager to see what he was going to do next. I grabbed his hips and pulled him tight against me, so that way I could feel his dick against mine. Takashi took that as an invitation to start grinding against me, trying to make me hornier with just the feel of him that close against me. I closed my eyes and parted my lips slightly, giving him access to my mouth with his tongue. Takashi slid his small wet tongue between my parted lips, along the front of my teeth. It was a passionate, yet taboo kiss, the kind you only see in Yakuza porn. I slid an arm around his waist, and grabbed a handful of his ass. The lycra that stretched over his tight cheeks, like a second skin, made his ass feel tighter and more muscular. It begged to be bitten, grabbed and squeezed. Takashi continued to probe my mouth with his warm tongue, I slid my tongue over his and across his upper lip. I teased his mouth with quick flicks of my tongue, sliding it over each of his teeth and along the inside of his cheek. He moaned softly inside my mouth, which turned me on even more. I was beginning to think that I had opened a can of worms, that I should have left alone. However, this was the most fun I’ve had since I came to Tokyo Central Academy. Takashi ran his hand slowly down my back, and into my Speedo. My breath caught for a moment when his fingers graced the curve of my ass. Opening my eyes partially so that I could see the expression on Takashi’s face. His eyes were still shut, when I caught a glimpse of him. There was a quiet grin growing up his face, as if he knew I was peeking at him. I snaked my fingers into the waistband of his skin tight swimsuit, so that I could feel more of his skin against mine. He leaned into my fingers trying to press himself into me, as we broke the deeply torrid kiss. Takashi gave me the opportunity to hone in on his perfect dime size nipples, they begged to be licked and sucked on. I took the opportunity that presented itself, as I leaned in and closed my mouth over one of his perky nipples. I slowly worked his tit with my eager tongue. I worked that one nipple, taking my time with it, working it with both my teeth and my tongue until he started moaning loudly. He was close to begging me to swallow his cock, I was just working my way to that and he would just have to be patient…
And you thought this was going to be something sexual, pervs! LOL!! It's been awhile since I last wrote and decided to play a little catch up with my readers. Nothing exciting going on, I'm working on yet another talent I have with graphics, which is working really really well.
This is a song really that I wrote to play on my harp. I've been composing the melody for it, and just thought I would share this with you.
The Long Years Don’t turn away, please let me explain It is hard to be this far away from home Its causing me so much pain So far away from you, I am so alone
Passions could spiral to the sky Sending wings to guide our hearts Allowing this love to make us high But it bumps back to earth when we’re apart
Can’t tell you how much you mean to me Can’t even begin to make you understand But you’re the only one whose ever set me free By the smile on your face, or the touch of your hand
I know its hard for you to comprehend But you mean more to me that I can show Why can’t we be more than just distant friends Come kiss me, take me from out of this low.
No I don’t want to lose what you Really truly mean to me my friend So if you regret what I’d like to do I’ll understand if you call this to an end.
Please don’t say we can’t give it a try I know it could work if we want it to Please don’t leave me alone here to cry All I want is to be with you.
Yet we are so many miles apart And I haven’t seen you in years Too many times you’ve had a broken heart And I too have been left in tears
Now that I have found you again My heart still missed a beat when I hear Your voice on the phone speak my name But I’m still clouded with all my fear.
That you’ll never want me to be With you for all time to know So my heart will just turn and set you free And our separate ways we can go.
Its taken several years to find you Severe long winters is how I feel Several long years and I still can’t have you How can this love so wrong feel so real?
Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine about love. The one thing that I am still working on fixing the one thing about myself that I regret. I fall in love easily and not with the most honest of guys. Well, I told my friend that I'm polyamorous. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/polyamorous I don't think he understood what the word meant, and he called me a filthy whore. Granted there are a lot of things about me, that even I find vulgar but this isn't one of them. Let me explain this a little bit so that you understand me better. For me, I believe that love should be given freely, and that it shouldn't be kept to just one person. If you think about it, everyone loves multiple people. But not everyone has a loving relationship with multiple people. For instance, I love 3 guys, and have a relationship with all 3 of them. They know about each other, and they accept that. I don't have sex with any of them, because that is my choice right now. Again they accept that, and they understand my reasons, which I will share here with you. I don't have sex at the moment with anyone, not because of an STD or HIV/AIDS, but because I feel that right now at this point in my life, sex isn't what I need to have a fulfilling life. I don't have sex because I'm too eager for it, (I almost said because I'm too easy lol). It's all too easy to confuse love with sexual love and lust. Trust me when I say that I don't need sex to have love. Besides lust can turn a person into a stalker real quick, and that's just messy to explain to people. I want people to understand that just because I am polyamorous, that I'm not a whore, a slut, skank, whatever. I'm just a normal guy with a lot of complicated things going on, like everyone else.
I am sure that many of you have been following todays events concerning Proposition 8 (a.k.a. Gay-Marriage Ban). I for one who am still on the fence about gay marriage, as I don't think anyone needs a piece of paper to prove their loving emotions for one another, am with the people on this. I suppose that since the people have elected Obama, we should expect change. I haven't exactly followed all of this hooplah from its inception, I have however been supporting Gay Rights since the untimely and wicked death of Matthew Shepard. And this just happens to be one of my greater causes. Sure some of you have stronger feelings on this than I. However, I think that we should stand together and stand firm. We are a minority, and not a very popular one at that. In light of all the drama, back-biting, and even down right problems that have stemmed from our community, we still stand together and fight for what we believe in. Congrats to you all if you believe this is something you want to do. However, this is not what I was going to write. The issue of Prop 8 was brought before California's Supreme Court today, and there was a lot of heated discussion on this. Now the Supreme court has 90 days to issue forth their judgement. Let's all hope that it is over-turned.
I recently read that certain types of music can make a person "unintelligent". Though I question that theory. Mostly, because I wonder where musicians actually fit into this. Okay, I'm tone deaf and yet I play so beautifully, as I am often told. Does this make me unintelligent? I don't think so. Granted perhaps I am a savant with it comes to musical talent. Though I would like to point out that isn't not the music that make people unintelligent. I place the blame fully on the educational system. I play the harp, one of the hardest instruments to learn to play and to actually play. I never took a lesson, never watched anyone play it. I just picked it up and could play it. I find the music of the harp to be quite soothing, its can be quite calming for those that have a high stress threshold.
Xbox Live bans gay gamer, uproar ensues Microsoft apologizes for 'inelegant' policies. By Ben Silverman ADVERTISEMENT
Even in video game cyberspace, sexual preference is a hot-button issue. According to a report by The Consumerist, an Xbox 360 gamer had her service suspended after identifying herself as a lesbian in her Xbox Live profile. The woman told the site that she was "harassed by several players" and "chased to different maps/games" once they caught wind of her sexual orientation. After those offended notified Microsoft, the company banned her account. Gamers were outraged, prompting Microsoft to issue a terse apology by way of Stephen Toulouse, program manager for policy and enforcement on Xbox Live.
Persona Non Grata On Xbox Live? "It is true that as a matter of policy, the expression of relationship preference in Gamertag profiles and tags is not allowed across the board, whether that's heterosexual or other," he told MTV. He went on to add that they were "looking into that policy," which he further deemed "inelegant." Initially intended to curb the derogatory use of words like "gay," Microsoft's sexuality policy empowers the company to suspend any account that includes words related to sexual orientation in an Xbox Live nickname or profile. It's landed the company in hot water before, most recently when it led to the banning of a man simply trying to use his legal name, Richard Gaywood. Toulouse went on to tell MTV that the company doesn't abide by user harassment, either, and urged anyone facing such abuse to file a complaint
being gay is comparable to murder how? (2/25/09) [View | Hide]
The following is a transcript of HRC’s morning news webcast "Equally Speaking." To view the current videos visit the main Equally Speaking page. 2/25/2009 Good morning and thanks for tuning in to Equally Speaking, your morning dose of LGBT news from the Human Rights Campaign for Wednesday, February 25. I’m John Greene. And I’m Breanna Bianco. First up, news from Colorado. During a congressional debate on Monday, Colorado state Senator Scott Renfroe made remarks comparing homosexuality to murder and adultery. Renfroe spoke during a debate over statewide legislation that would provide benefits to the same-sex partners of state employees. His remarks, which have been condemned by the Human Rights Campaign, included calling homosexuality an abomination, an offense to God, and a sin comparable to murder and adultery. In other Colorado news, the Aurora City Council voted Monday night in favor of providing benefits to the partners of lesbian and gay city employees, as well as to unmarried partners in different-sex relationships. The resolution offers health, dental, life, vision, and post-employment insurance to unmarried domestic partners. Several Colorado cities already offer benefits to same-sex couples, including Denver, Boulder, Lakewood, and Littleton. Today in Kentucky, a coalition of LGBT organizations is set to lobby state legislators to oppose an anti-LGBT adoption bill. The legislation, sponsored by state Senator Gary Tapp, would prevent single people and individuals in same-sex relationships from adopting. Statewide LGBT organizations, including the Kentucky Equality Federation and the Kentucky Fairness Alliance, have joined more than ten other LGBT groups in organizing today’s lobby day and rally. An LGBT anti-discrimination bill has been dismissed this week by a state Senate Committee in Idaho. The legislation, which was sponsored by state Senator Nicole LeFavour, would have added employment protections for the LGBT community to the state’s existing Human Rights Act. The Senate State Affairs Committee dismissed the bill by a simple voice vote, effectively killing the measure for this year. A similar bill was dismissed in the same way last year. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has announced its support for two California bills that would invalidate Proposition 8. In a letter to California legislators, NAACP leaders urged the passage of House Resolution 5 and Senate Resolution 7, which would put the legislature on record as supporting the invalidation of Prop 8. NAACP national board chair Julian Bond will also be speaking at HRC’s 2009 Los Angeles Dinner and Hero Awards on March 14. The largest Presbyterian Church congregation in Arkansas has elected an openly gay man to the position of deacon. The Presbyterian constitution officially requires its officers to be either celibate or faithfully in a different-sex marriage. However, the congregation at Little Rock’s Second Presbyterian Church has approved the appointment of openly gay Michael Upson with a voice vote. Upson has been in a relationship with another man for over twenty years, and has been a Second Presbyterian member since 2001. That’s the news from us today. Thanks for tuning in to Equally Speaking.
INTERNET CYBER CRIME ALERT!! (2/25/09) [View | Hide]
An individual claiming to represent himself as a gay news journalist or gay talent agent in the adult entertainment industry has been circulating within the gay online communities of the internet. This individual represents himself using an alias name, known as Damon Kruezer and may offer you a link to a website. Said website will represent spoofed information about industry insider information and industry gossip to cause you to believe you are dealing with a reputable person.The nature of this scheme works very simple, here is how it usually works: You will receive online communication via email or instant messenger from this individual. He will make proposals of introducing you to a new and rewarding career in the adult film industry. He will debrief you for vital information such as age, date of birth, names of members of your family and other personal information. It would appear you would be making an application for employment by answering his questions about such information. He will ask you to email him personal images of yourself. After you provide him this information he will publish what appears to be an interview with you on his website. After developing a rapport with you online and claiming to you he has provided you with necessary publicity he will then ask for money. Of course after you send money to him nothing will ever develop toward landing you employment in a film or other areas of the industry.Many victims of these schemes sometimes don’t have money to pay the “publicity fee” or later begin to question the creditability of the offerings. Once you fail to make payment or question the creditability of him he will then extort you by explaining to you that he will contact your family and friends, employer and or associations and share with them the personal information you may have shared with him to include photographs you may have submitted to him. Often victims give in and pay him to avoid having this information shared.Blackmail/Extortion is the serious felony crime of threatening to reveal damaging or embarrassing information in order to coerce money or other goods or forms of cooperation out of a victim. For blackmail to be effective, the blackmailer must, in most cases, have physical proof of the information he threatens to reveal, such as photographs or emails.The victim of blackmail is typically threatened with exposure of his private life, the consequences of which can range from embarrassing to socially devastating to legally damning. At its most serious, blackmail may rest on the exposure of a serious crime, which would do infinitely more damage to the victim than complying with the blackmailer. Even secret information that is not of a criminal nature, however, can make the victim of blackmail feel that he has no recourse against the crime.The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) is a partnership between the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the National White Collar Crime Center (NW3C). IC3’s mission is to serve as a vehicle to receive, develop, and refer criminal complaints regarding the rapidly expanding arena of cyber crime. The IC3 gives the victims of cyber crime a convenient and easy-to-use reporting mechanism that xxx="blogger-post-footer">
Gays the "greatest threat to america"? (2/20/09) [View | Hide]
This is what a Senator from Utah has been spewing. From my mouth, the uneducated and closed minded bigots come more stupidity. This is why I don't vote, or care what happens in this country.
Well, I think I have come back to it again, where I just don't care. I have found that dating has become nothing more than a tragic attempt to cover up the tracks of the emotionally inept. It's been this way for me personally for nearly 10 years. Can't find a decent guy that has a good head on his shoulders or one that has a job. Go figure bunch of lazy bastards! This should come to no real surprise for me. Considering the people that want anything to do with me, just want ask me to be the star of snuff films, or sulfuric acid baths for my face. Gods there are some sick fucks out there. Good thing I'm agoraphobic, I guess. Where are the decent guys that are romantic not psychotic.
Upcoming Vacation - Brisbane, Australia (1/8/09) [View | Hide]
Ugh I haven't had a decent holiday in nearly 5 years now, and since I finally got my passport I can go somewhere outside of the States. I've picked where I wanted to go, and am very excited. One of my close friends, with which I play SecondLife, has invited me out to his for 3 months and I jumped at that. So Brissie here I come. I have I mentioned that he and I have been dating for the last 2 months? Maybe I forgot, with everything going on. I hope everyone is looking forward to the pics that I will be posting from the trip. I have 5 months worth of saving to do yet to afford the tickets to fly out there. But its worth every bleeding penny, isn't it. Well for now I will say ciao.
To view chapters of my book (12/10/08) [View | Hide]
New Characters for "Fae Fire" (12/9/08) [View | Hide]
I have come up with a few new characters for my novel. I haven't quite decided what chapters they will end up in. However, the newest one 'Queen Querellia of Light and Fire' will be in the upcoming chapter. Can't have the Queen of the Fae just sitting about waiting her turn. I have decided to change a few of the plots around to make something a little more modern, something that screams BDSM, something that shouts 'bend me over and do me raw'. I think the new twist will really catch my readers and fans around the globe. I would really like to hear from my fans and readers, to know what they want to see in this novel. Give me a shout here on DList, MySpace or on yim.
Well I have needed to take a break from working on "Fae Fire", as I have been working constantly on it and have had very little time for myself. As it stands I have had some things going on that I cannot let sit on the back burner. I have decided on two pictures for my cover, am still looking for an artist to come up with a few things for me, but my agent and the publishers are jerking me around on that. I might have to take it into my own hands and draw something myself, so much for making this a best seller! Because I can't draw to save my life. I have a wedding to prepare for, my own. We still haven't made all the plans yet, but we have decided on a date and location for the proceedings. My fiance, Dan has picked this time next year for the date. And I have picked Oaxaca Mexico for the location. I don't know how we are going to get all of this taken care of in a year, but I have faith that we can pull it off. I am proud of the fact that he supports my career, and wants to help with this novel. I should somehow manage to work that into the story, near chapter 25. ~make a note~. I suppose that is enough of a update for today.
I finished a quick rewrite of the first 3 chapters today, though most of it was just the minor details. Started working on the next 2 chapters a short while ago, it seems my characters decided they want them to be hard core porn! Why am I not surprised that this has become the norm when one hasn't been getting laid? The story is progressing fabulously, with very few problems though I am having some difficulty keeping up with how many details I still have to add in. It seems with each new chapter I forget to add the descriptions of the characters and the places that I am creating. So much for being the great writer lol. Anyway I am spending the day talking to my boyfriend and working on chapters 4 and 5 so that I can get at least the first 10 chapters done and caught up. So I've got a lot of work to do and still plenty of time to get it all done in. So I will leave to gt all this done before the end of the day.
Working on my book entitled "Fae Fire" (12/6/08) [View | Hide]
I've been working on my book the last several months, and finally have my working title of "Fae Fire" I won't tell you what the story is about just yet, at least until I finish chapter 5. The characters are writing themselves, the way that they want, so it should make things a bit more interesting. I've never finished a book that I have written before, and so far this is a work that will write itself for a change. I am just glad that I have managed not to rewrite the whole thing yet. I woke up this morning and decided to do a rewrite of chapters 1 - 3, I felt that I needed to add some details that I neglected to add in when I first wrote them. There's always some last minute details that need to be put in to make it something great. The main character, which I named after myself, brings an element to the story that I didn't think would work. I'm glad its coming along great.
Another Move and A New Life (12/5/08) [View | Hide]
Well last time I wrote, I believe I had moved to Indiana. Well I moved yet again, this time back to the heart of Texas. Not one of my proudest moments, but there you have it. I guess it takes a certain amount of resolve and will of spirit to move around the country like it isn't a big deal. Considering that every time I move, I encounter different things that even I can't really recount without forgetting some minor detail. However, this time I want to focus on the people that I met along the way. While I was in Indiana, I met a few people that most would just look down their noses at. These people are the salt of the earth. Constantly struggling to survive, but working hard. I don't think I can say that about most people, though those folks in Indiana, work hard at their jobs and still struggle. Perhaps it is just me, growing up working my ass off to get to where I am. Yet coming back to Texas, all I notice is how people complain about not having everything they want, yet refuse to work. I can't say that about everyone down here, but the vast majority do. I start my life a new everytime I move someplace and I still haven't the faintest idea what the problem is. I say the same thing about finding a decent guy, because most of them turn out to be just like the rest. Is there one guy out there that isn't the same?
It has been a while since I last posted, and I hope my fans can understand the reasons why. I don’t believe that I need to justify myself or even compromise myself in any way here. The reasons why I haven’t been able to post in the span of almost a year are both lame and inconsequential, yet on the same token are as true as having a cold. So if you will just take a moment I will explain what has occurred since my last post. My ex boyfriend and I had patched up our differences or so I had thought, and got back together. Well at the time I thought it was something that I wanted, and could do. If you’re asking why I would do something like this, here’s your quick and painless answer. I believe in second chances, at least I thought it would be a good idea and gave it a try in the true attempt in believing in love. As it turns out I was wrong for actually trying to make the attempt in getting back together with the ex, because he hadn’t changed like he said he did. Again, why you ask. Because I believed blindly in second chances and thought it would be a good idea. Not one my brightest moments. Well, we moved from Texas back to my home state of Wisconsin, where I thought things would get better for the both of us. Nope, again I was wrong. Stupid me. I mean things did get better for one of us, and I was on the wrong end of that stick. However, I did give it a go and put my best foot forward. This is where things got worse in the relationship for me. My dear ex, may he get a disease where his diddly turns black and falls in the toilet, decided it would be of some importance to cheat on me for the 7th time. Then two days later dumped me and moved on like the relationship didn’t mean anything. Okay, I know some of you think I am still hung up on this guy. At a time I was, but have since then moved on myself. In fact I moved to Indiana, and started over. Yay me! Granted, since I have been here I have burned my bridges, and still look back with a pang of regret. Because now I have few real friends, and no one that I find interesting or attractive. I don’t regret the choices I’ve made, aside burning all my bridges. I think you understand some of that, but in truth, I am more alone now that I have ever been. Why? Well its no longer a matter of why. It’s more of a matter of where do I go from here. I have come far in the time since my last post, and I have come even further without anyone at my side. I don’t have any support or comfort. In fact all in all it has been very lonely, for me. I think that since all this turmoil in my life, that if I were dating some guy, I would have ended up hurting someone that I care about even more. Just know that if you were in my situation that what I say now is more than truth. I don’t like knowing that I have hurt someone because of actions I have taken, or by things that I have said. Too many people have been hurt by what I have said and done in the last couple of weeks. And now its time to turn around and tell everyone that I am sorry. Granted apologizing is something that I don’t do anymore, because everyone has their reasons for saying or doing something that they know they have to do. I have followed my heart and done what I needed to do to get where I am now. If given the opportunity, I would have done it all differently of course. But would I be happy with what I have done then? I don’t think that I can say. I know that I have done these things now, and am glad that I used an approach that would have been easier. No, it wasn’t as easy as I say, it was harder than hell to do what I had to do, and I shed all my tears. I guess you can say the experiences since the last post has hardened me, and made me into a person that isn’t exactly what I would want for someone like myself. So now I am living in Indiana, which is not exactly where I would want to be. But once again I am putting my best foot forward and making the attempt to have a better life for myself. I had started to make friends here, but once again I find myself burning more bridges. In my MySpace blog, they read some things that they took personally, like I openly attacked them. Here’s the breakdown of what I wrote there, the way I meant it, not how it looks. I said that I am tired of being alone, I am tired of being hurt and misled. That I don’t need sympathy, or false hope. I want honest people that aren’t going to betray me later. The way these people took it was that I am a cold hearted bitter bitch, who doesn’t need anyone in my life ever, and that anyone trying can kiss my ass. I do not regret writing any of it. Isn’t sad to assume? I think so too. Well those people decided to part my company and never speak to me again. Fine by me, just don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out, cause I don’t want ass prints on my door! I don’t need false friends, simply put. Those that didn’t take it the wrong way were slightly offended of course, and I can’t blame them. I just won’t apologize for it. Anyway, I needed to say all that, and hope that I didn’t offended anymore people with what I write, since what I have written is the truth at least from my stand point. If you don’t agree I won’t hold it against you, that’s what God is for. Just kidding. I have lost so much, a lot of which is nothing more than material things that can be replaced if they are so important to me. But most of all, I have lost myself, I lost who I am and what I have become because of all this. And I wish that I hadn’t compromised myself for a guy that I had thought I loved. I guess I had to learn that believing isn’t the same thing as being true to myself. I would have thought that I was doing what I believed to be right, and in the end just ended up laying down and letting myself be walked on. I know that sounds rather bad, but in the end it is all I could do. I just want people to understand my situation, and not give me pity or false hope. I would rather have people give their support and advice. But what the hell, I try to make do with my own opinions than anything else. For the moment, I want to say that this is a series of interlinking posts. And that some of these will be light natured and some quite serious. But all of them have a point to them. I would like to point out that for the time being the point of this one and the following posts, are about trust.
My dear grandmother passed away on Saturday. This woman taught me many things in life, all of which I am indebted to her for. The only thing that plagues my mind still is that, due to her failing health, she couldn't tell anyone the things that she wanted to say. Bless her wise Dagdha and loving Danu. I will miss her very much, as she was wise beyond her years, even in middle age. However that wouldn't have stopped her from telling everyone that crossed her path what she truly thought of them. I take after her in that respect. But mostly, the thing that I will miss the most about this dear woman is that I will never get to share the moments when we were truly one being. Quietly sitting around being at peace with the Otherworld, or the moments when she taught me about herbs. I love you gran, and will await your return at Samhain, when I will feast with you again.
Hey man thanks for the request. Sorry it took a while to get back to you! Hope things are going well for you!
Hope you keep up with photography. Its my thing I love to do. http://www.picturesocial.com/profile/ScottThelen should check it out.
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