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Zanshurei's

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Last Login: Within 24 hours

City: Satsuma
State/Province: FL
Country: US

Age: 28
Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 159 lbs.
Hair Color: Light Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Body Type: Average
Ethnicity: White

Occupation: Veterinary Assistant

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Music

Autoplay: ON Shuffle: ON

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Interests

Interests/Hobbies

Music I Like:

Maroon 5, Nelly Furtado, Iio, Justin Timberlake, Linkin Park, ZZ Top, Mary J Blige, Tiesto, Our Lady Peace, Eurythmics, Cascada, Nadia Ali, and pretty much whatever else appeals to my ears at the given moment.

Films I Like:

Literature I Like:

TV Shows I Like:

I currently neither have a television, or the the desire to acquire one

my

Groups

• Florida Guys • Follow The Adventure • Must Love Dogs • Official Lady GaGa Group

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about

Zanshurei

"I don't bite... Unless I have prior approval of all involved"

Where do I begin?

I have been told that I am standoffish. If I come off that way, it is out of self preservation. People quite literally scare me. I can easily carry on a conversation online, with a complete stranger. Walking up and talking to someone on the street is another story all together. I literally panic. I assure you, I am really not that mean, rude, or antisocial really. I just need to be coaxed out of my shell. Once I am comfortable, I do not shut the hell up.
I am really disinterested in becoming an anonymous statistic in your absorptive friends lists. I have a genuinely difficult time meeting people and making friends in the real world, but I don't need to overcompensate that with a great quantity of false ones here. I would ideally like to make some good friends, people I may be able to hang out with at some point in person. I'm in the market for a new life partner. Serious and emotionally mature applicants only.
Don't message me to hookup. I don't, I wont, and emotionally detached sex is absolutely useless to me. If that's your only intent, you'll find me frustrating. Lets not waste your time and mine, please.
If that first bit of verbal concertina wire doesn't deter you, you might try chatting with me. It takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough to talk openly. Once I open up though, I am a fun oddball kind of guy.
Just a random last note, for the few that bothered to read any of this at all. I'm a tremendous astrology nut. I have a tendency to look up everyone in my books. For those interested. My Sun is in Cancer, my moon is in Scorpio, and my rising sign is Capricorn. I could rattle off the other planets, but that would be pointless :P.

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Random Thoughts

Wanted: Stable Life Partner (11/8/09) [View | Hide]

Damn, I feel like I'm old enough that I should be beyond this by now. It's hard to believe now, that when I was younger I had my mind set that I had to be married and settled in by 23. That seems like an entire lifetime ago. I had so many preconceived notions and fixed ideologies. Life's been unkind since, but it hasn't been so bad as to cripple me.
I should note that I'm not really posting this with any hope of response. Rather, I'm hoping to by process of writing articulate to myself what exactly it is I want. That's far easier said than done...

Wanted: Stable Gay Male for Lifelong companionship
Musts: These are non-negotiable...
-Be mature and accept responsibility for one's own actions.
-Be trustworthy. I generally trust you until I have reason not to.
-Trust me, especially since I'll give you no reason to do otherwise!
-Have respect for himself, and others.
-Have his own interests and friends but have time enough to share with me.
-Have fiery passions for things in his life.
-Try to instill passion in me. This is easier said than done, trust me.
-Be at least willing to attempt to understand my eccentricities. I'm an odd boy...
-Have himself an unusual air, because that's the pathway for attraction from my part.
-Be able to articulate how he's feeling without resorting to destructiveness.
-learn when to leave me alone, and when I really need him to make things better...
-Not be ashamed of who he is, in any situation.
-Like to cuddle, and be physically close/intimate.
-Take care of himself hygienically. I do find it sad that it even has to be said...
-Not gamble with his health or mine.
-Not use hard drugs, or attempt to convince me to use any drugs.
-Know his limits with alcohol. Social drinking even on a daily level is acceptable...
-Not be old enough to have contributed DNA towards my existence...
-Be willing to work as much and as hard for the benefit of US as I will.
-Be the one to take charge, but not become domineering.
-Be willing to talk openly about wants, needs, and expectation. Doing so will encourage me to do so in return...

Suggestions: These things are negotiable to varying degrees.
-Height. I suppose between 5'9"-6'6" respectively. I'm most attracted to taller men.
-Build. I'm most attracted to slender, toned men.
-Age. I feel that a reasonable range would be within 7years either way of my own.
-Hairstyle. I simply don't find long hair attractive on a man, at all.
-Having Artful/tasteful tattoos, preferably with some meaning.
-Moderate piercings, again artfulness has much to do with it.
-Have an eye for art or beauty in the natural world.
-Please don't be a smoker. I can live with it, but it's just not healthy.

This is in no way intended to be a complete list. Additionally, as I grow and learn I suspect this may change as my outlook and ideas become less fixed. Ah well. Constructive commentary is always appreciated.

-Ken

Small Town Life (Sucks) (9/20/09) [View | Hide]

Life (Re)Adjustments (12/18/08) [View | Hide]

So it's been a long, wild month. One would have thought that having known two months in advance, that I would be moving, that it might have been smooth and well planned out. If fate had seen it fit to follow the plan, perhapse that would be the case. Fate is a fickle mistress though. A petty argument with my ex, led to the loss of my laptop. A casual visit with a long-time internet friend, became something emotionally profound that I'm still struggling to process. A sendoff party, became an ocean of tears from a most unexpected source. My grand homecomming, was less than so. Now I'm here, and asking myself "what now?".
I've been back 'home' for a week and a half. The first week was spent reaquainting myself with the land in which I grew up. To say much has changed would be a lie. It's very much the same as when I left. Sure, there are more homes built in the forrests and swamps. All of which have been foreclosed upon and currently empty. The people are the same. The atmosphere, stale and musty, threatens to strangle the breath of creativity and originality from my lungs. I missed my friends from here very much, but they all have their lives and families by now. So somehow I'm even more alone now.
My family is as they have been as long as I can remember. My dad's still a cranky miser. I'm glad he doesn't seem to be drinking nearly as much, and seems more apt to retire to his room than pick fights than in times past. My grandmother, bless her heart, isn't what she once was or would like to be. Her memory is leaving her slowly. She still gets up early to do whatever chores she can manage, but the fire is gone. I cannot stay in their home too long. The environment there is domineering. I find myself feeling like a helpless child again. I'm at the whim of others and not to my own.
I have a job interview tomorow. I had been hoping to get hired on at a good sized office in Daytona or St. Augustine. Fate seems content to make me become mired in Putnam County. The sad fact is no one is hiring. It took powerful strings to pull getting an interview at all. Work is work though. Whatever I need to do to get through, is what I'll make do with.
I guess that is life as it now stands. I'm all alone in the swamp. I've done a fine job of making myself quite useless. My heart is wandering someplace far removed. At least the weather is nice...

The way it stands (My life at the moment) (11/30/08) [View | Hide]

Another afternoon dream (11/24/08) [View | Hide]

Capricornus in the year 1985 (11/23/08) [View | Hide]

Because it's just so damned shiny! (11/19/08) [View | Hide]

So I fell for a boy. It was a whirlwind fiesta of infatuation. Let's ignore the fact that he was on the opposite corner of the continent. There were a multitude of quirky little red flags I attempted to ignore.
The first major issue was discovering half the pics he had shared with me were of course quite false. The other half it appeared were out dated. Most normal people would call it quits on that sour note. Being the quirky little cancer I am, I decided to try to find out why this had occurred. A temporary patch was placed and the relationship moved on.
Things had started to settle down a big, becoming almost routine. Security, I felt was mine. Guess that was a premature judgment. See I'm a fairly insecure guy. This leads me to dig into a situation when I feel like something is off. I don't confront, or threaten, or accuse until every piece of evidence is absolutely stabbing me in the eye with obviousness.
So I crashed for eighteen hours. He woke me with a message, noting that I hadn't messaged him. I awoke the next morning and all was pretty damned routine. I shot him an offline message, then proceeded to my standard social networking profiles to see what had changed. I was slightly jarred to see a notice informing me his status had changed to 'single'. I went to his profile, nothing particular out of order, except you know his status did in fact say 'single'. Considering this was Facebook, and I had sent him a relationship approval some time prior, I was quite taken aback.
I wont get into dirty details. I'll just leave it that I'm now single again. I am however amused that for all the talk about not knowing how to approve a relationship status, and not knowing the 'new facebook' it took relatively little time to erase me from existence. Guess I didn't mean that much to him after all.

Oh well, guess I'm lucky we had the same ring size...

A Terrible Dream (11/16/08) [View | Hide]

The following is a dream I had during a late afternoon nap recently. After an unusually long period of adjustment post-waking, I decided there had to be some significance to the whole thing. I have yet to figure out just what that significance is however.

It was a clear, balmy day with only a few clouds in the sky. There was a slightly saline breeze. I stood on a small pier, with an unknown companion, amidst a few brightly colored tables and chairs (The kind, with umbrellas, typical of tourist locals). I had the impression that I was in or near LA.
People on the beach, started staring out to sea, aghast. I turned over my shoulder to see what they were looking at. On the horizon, a solid wall of water was rushing towards me. I had the feeling that it stretched the entire horizon, was unearthly massive, and was global in its impact.
I started to run with no regard for my cohort. I ran past screams and gasps of "We're all going to die" and "It's hopeless". I rushed across a street, through light traffic, and darted between towering buildings. The roaring, crashing, and crumpling sounds of rushing water and twisting metal were growing in the background. I pushed my way over construction debris, hopped over a homeless man, and jumped/slid over a port-a-potty. Then, I twisted to my left and up the crude wooden stairs of a building under construction.
The water was swirling and surging up at my feet. I could feel it snap at my ankles, cold and angry. Other people started to rush up from the waters, surging up the stairs behind me. I forced my way up the stairs until I reached a metal barricade. People started to cram in behind me, wedging me tighter and tighter into a tangled mess of bodies and metal bars. Somehow, by my own force of will, I pushed through the barricade, and started up the stairs again. A single man forced himself past me and darted up the stairs.
The top of the stairs ended in a plush apartment not unlike a casino in design. An imposing man sat at a desk at the entry to the room. He was looking at a computer, but turned to glare at the man before me, and greeted him with a gun extended. The man offered a bribe, in the form of a neatly rolled and banded ball of cash. The man waved him inside, then turned to me. I shrugged my shoulders and in exasperation plead "I have nothing", to which he only smiled and welcomed me just the same.
I remained at the doorway to the room, took my cell phone from my pocket, and sent a single text message to my boyfriend reading 'I made it through, are you ok?". There was a brief pause, and then I awoke.